Thriving brands reflect their cultural environs. America’s pro sports – so brilliantly played and packaged – face corruptions from the very culture that supports them. The NFL, like our lives, has become rule-bound and legalistic. The NBA has slowed to the tempo of corporate bureaucracy. What are the strengths and weaknesses of the major league brands? Herewith our rankings: 1 NFL 
Brand delights
Balletic violence
Military strategy and rifle-armed QBs
Potential trouble
Public’s aversion to concussions and obesity among employees
Rules as complex as ant-nest tunnels
Strategic advice
Bigger, padded helmets and limits on body fat
50% fewer rules and reviews – i.e. Let ‘em play!
2 Major League Baseball 
Brand delights
Vast green field and absence of play clock
Pitcher-batter duels / Close plays at home
Potential trouble
Over-specialization – DH, middle-relief, "set-up man"
Strategic advice
End the DH and ban all mention of pitch-counts.
3 LPGA
Brand delights
Astounding golfing skills
Short skirts
Potential trouble
Foolishly frilly logo meant to play-up femininity
Strategic advice
Re-draw logo to emphasize athletic skill.
4 PGA
Brand delights
Tiger and Phil rivalry
High-lofted balls landing on the green and spinning to the cup
Potential trouble
Non-stop commercials about men going to pee or not being able to get it up
Strategic advice
Forbid advertisers from portraying men as victims.
5 NBA 
Brand delights
Best athletes on the planet
Potential trouble
Grindingly slow pace of play
Pro-wrestling exerience of screaming announcers and canned “music”
Strategic advice
Given today's huge, wide players, play four-on-four to put a premium on speed.
6 NHL 
Brand delights
Fist fights and Neanderthal fans
Unnatural agility of humans on ice
Post-game interviews with toothless players
Potential trouble
You can’t see what the heck is going on
Strategic advice
Make puck and nets bigger for easier viewing and higher scores
Ban fights or score them (1 point per tooth, 2 for knock-out).
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