“Loyalty programs” are so named because companies want to be honored with our lasting patronage. In return, they grant us points toward discounts and gifts.
The relationship is charmingly feudal. I swear loyalty to Lord Staples by signing up for his rewards. A brisk but moving ceremony at the cash register – smiles, congratulations – is followed by welcoming salutations in my in-box.
Then one day, Lord Staples finds himself under siege from the grasping Earl of Office Depot. Lord Staples sends out a call for my dollars. I saddle up my war-car and muster with other customers to pay homage at Lord Staples’ big, boxy castle. I faithfully deploy my dollars in his behalf… and ride home – battered – lugging a box of paper and other spoils of war.
At some later date, Lord Staples grants me a free pen and a promise of future favors.
That’s how loyalty programs work.
Banks, restaurants, hotels, airlines – all promote such feudal arrangements. My objection is to their sheer complexity – also feudal. Am I exempt from service at harvest time? Do I owe Lord Staples my daughter for a few nights (or knights)? Does he get his third of my wheat before or after I beat it against the rocks?
With the Duke of Delta (here illustrated), the program has the typical complexities.
Note this handsome ad for the Duke of Delta’s pact. Great graphics – but such confusing terminology! “SkyMiles program”… “rollover elite miles”… “Medallion qualification level”…. “the new Diamond Medallion tier.”
Tough to figure out. I worry that, if I swear allegiance to the Duke of Delta, I might unwittingly be ceding over a beloved pet – or even a cherry tree – in exchange for one of these "medallions."
brandsinger
4 comments:
Love it! I am tired of these loyalty programs that use special lingo and weird rules. Dollars back. Double savings. They should pick one thing and stick with it.
Actually, Hilton has a pretty tidy offer. When you stay with them, you automatically get loyalty points. But, also, you can either (a) get miles for airlines or (b) double your Hilton points. So, instead of hunting around for airline rewards numbers, etc., you just put "double points" on your profile and you're done. And get to a free stay twice as fast.
Thanks, o un-named one.
Now if Hilton could just arrange to give you double the sleep in half the time... that's a rewards program!
brandsinger
Claude, here comes the annoying pedant: I believe "doth" (do-eth)was typically used in ye Olde English in the third person singular with the pronouns he, she, or it. "The lady doth protest too much, methinks", etc.
Love the blog.
Thank you.
Not annoying at all!
I appreciate it so much. He doth help me admirably who doth juthtifiably repaireth mine prothe and allayeth mine iggorance.
anks-thay, Alan.
Claude
Post a Comment