Greatest brand impact per ounce: the Wasp
A sublimely understated vehicle—light, compact, with limited range—but packing the wallop of a Floyd Mayweather left hook
Brand personality: Aggression, stealth, anger 
Tagline: If you want to be called honey, why not get yourself a bee?
Highlight of 2011: Sending Brandsinger to the emergency room covered with itchy red welts
Price: About $800.00 per sting
Most shocking brand: Lightning
A reminder of the primal power of the universe that was here before you and will be here forever after you
Brand personality: Flashiness, bombast, tendency to overdo it
Tagline: Before your silly fireworks, I Am.
Highlight of 2011: Driving Brandsinger under the bed when striking to the heart of a 200-year-old oak
Cost: About $900.00 per tree
Most influential political brand—Liberalism
Despite the rise of the Tea Party and the fall of Obama’s prestige, 2011 was, deceptively, the year of the left. From the daily drumbeat of NPR to the leveraged influence of the Occupiers, liberals mopped the floor with anyone brazen enough to question the brand’s stamina.
Brand personality: Smugness, hypocrisy, snobbery
Brand promise: To protect the status quo in education, manufacturing and mass culture
Tagline: “What? Are you a moron?”
Highlight of 2011: Positioning the Congressional Republicans as defenders of the tax code while assuming the stance of tax-cutters
Cost: About ten trillion dollars per generation
Top brand among organic compounds: Humidity
Where would we be without that subtle hint of waterfront in the air? With practically no marketing budget, humidity had a great year. It gave a slight curl to boring hair, made women’s t-shirts cling, and gave privileged Manhattan office-workers something to whine about.
Brand traits: Ubiquitous, embracing, variable
Tagline: Say adios to static electricity
Highlight of 2011: 100% humidity during the drenching rains that caused roadway flooding and hours of travel delay that kept Brandsinger from making a client workshop on time
Cost: my entire fee
A universe of top brands
Brandsinger salutes these and the other unsung brands of 2011, from the reassuring bubbling of oatmeal to the manly roar of the Maori Haka dancers to the haunting rustle of cottonwood trees, life is filled with the sounds and promise of brands that sing.
Happy New Year!
6 comments:
"the year of the left. From the daily drumbeat of NPR..."
And Happy New Year to you too.
But about this Resolution: Free yourself of 1980s & '00s cant and Fox-news slant. How dated and inapposite: "the daily drumbeat of NPR."
Wimpering NPR, scared by Republicans' posturing and defunding, has pushed itself center and right. Managing occasionally to not spout chant from the right, doesn't make a news organization bent to the left.
Happy New Year, and work on that Resolution, please!
Sorry, meant to say "how *about* this Resolution:"
Thanks for the comment, Justin. It's probably tough for someone to recognize a flagrant political bias when he shares it himself. What bias?
NPR "center and right"? -- would that I had the morning tapes and 100 hours of time to prove you wrong.
My New Year's Resolution: to learn how to use your word "inapposite"!
brandsinger
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