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The Costa Carnival carnival

2012-01-18T17:44:00.000-08:00

The world is not waiting for me to comment on the tragic drama staged this week on the wet rocks of Italy. But I have a writer’s compulsion to inventory the human beings who play out their roles as the rest of us gape in sympathy, horror and amusement.

“O for a muse of fire!” cried Shakespeare’s Chorus in Henry V. Well, no, we don’t need such an inspiration for this play. We just let our eyes wander across the media for a glimpse at each actor.

Costa Concordia Carnival—A play in many acts

Dramatis Personae (in order of appearance)

The captain—Dashing, dark-haired Francesco Schettino, who piles into a life-boat to save himself while frightened tourists stumble about a darkened deck. Schettino is the coward in all of us. He is the man we know we are not…but dread becoming in a crisis. Thank you Captain Schettino for reminding us of our duty. Thank you for showing us how facing an additional 60 minutes of chaos can spare oneself a lifetime of shame.

Micky Arison—CEO of Carnival Corporation, which owns the Costa Cruises company and the flipped-on-its-side cruise ship. The New York Times says that Arison “has taken a low-key position, allowing the head of his Italian subsidiary to handle the accident’s fallout.” Round-faced and smiling, Arison—who inherited Carnival Corporation from his father and also owns a pro basketball team—has a key role in our play: He is the distant feudal lord who is always out of town when fire devastates a village, flu ravages the countryside, and a vicious sheriff robs and rapes without restraint. “M’lord Arison is not at the castle this season.”

Ted Turner and Richard Branson—These are rival lords who instinctively know how to lead and show the world what it is to own a company. Based on their personal branding, one can imagine Turner or Branson, in a similar disaster, hopping on a jet to the scene of tragedy and handing out hot soup to survivors and taking every press interview while dressed in a tan jacket with large pockets and epaulets.

Passengers—Too poor to afford their own boats, too old to endure the rocking of a smaller vessel, too scared for the Atlantic, too unimaginative to chart their own travels, too middle-class to seek great opera and chic bistros, too lazy to cook their own meals, too burned out by a hard life to hike or marathon, too desperate to entertain their children but happy to relegate them to plastic play-scapes, our passengers find themselves confronted by nothing less than death itself—and show their mettle and their frailty and their capacity to survive.

Ship's crew—More than a thousand strong, our riotously festooned crew-members frolic on stage in aprons, plumed hats, smart red jackets with gold buttons, tiny bikinis with patterned black stockings, grimy tee-shirts soaked in soapy water, black cut-away jackets with cummerbunds, high heels and skimpy cocktail dresses, and spooky black robes. What a dazzling throng they are! Oh yes, and a few here and there are dressed as actual sailors.

Italian Coast Guard officer—Known only as a gruff, commanding voice from off-stage. This official sensibly instructs our Captain Schettino to leave the safety of his life-boat and climb up the ship’s ladder to help coordinate the evacuation. He is clear and decisive—a communicator of simple, masculine eloquence: “There are corpses!” he tells the captain. “But it is dark,” comes the whining reply. “People fighting for their lives and you want to go home?” mocks the Coast Guardsman. In mounting frustration and anger he commands: “Go back on board! Now!” Ah but… well, see above... our Captain Schettino is not allowed, in our script, to do what’s right, and the Coast Guardsman is left to cry in the wilderness.

These are our players. A 114,000-ton vessel is our stage. The world is our audience. And “O the humanity” our unending story.

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Top brands of 2011

2011-12-31T11:40:00.000-08:00

It’s too easy and obvious to celebrate blockbuster brands like Apple and Facebook. Here at Brandsinger we pay attention to the under-appreciated brands of 2011 and take a moment to marvel at their genius.

Greatest brand impact per ounce: the Wasp

A sublimely understated vehicle—light, compact, with limited range—but packing the wallop of a Floyd Mayweather left hook

Brand personality: Aggression, stealth, anger

Tagline: If you want to be called honey, why not get yourself a bee?

Highlight of 2011: Sending Brandsinger to the emergency room covered with itchy red welts

Price: About $800.00 per sting

Most shocking brand: Lightning

A reminder of the primal power of the universe that was here before you and will be here forever after you

Brand personality: Flashiness, bombast, tendency to overdo it

Tagline: Before your silly fireworks, I Am.

Highlight of 2011: Driving Brandsinger under the bed when striking to the heart of a 200-year-old oak

Cost: About $900.00 per tree

Most influential political brand—Liberalism

Despite the rise of the Tea Party and the fall of Obama’s prestige, 2011 was, deceptively, the year of the left. From the daily drumbeat of NPR to the leveraged influence of the Occupiers, liberals mopped the floor with anyone brazen enough to question the brand’s stamina.

Brand personality: Smugness, hypocrisy, snobbery

Brand promise: To protect the status quo in education, manufacturing and mass culture

Tagline: “What? Are you a moron?”

Highlight of 2011: Positioning the Congressional Republicans as defenders of the tax code while assuming the stance of tax-cutters

Cost: About ten trillion dollars per generation

Top brand among organic compounds: Humidity

Where would we be without that subtle hint of waterfront in the air? With practically no marketing budget, humidity had a great year. It gave a slight curl to boring hair, made women’s t-shirts cling, and gave privileged Manhattan office-workers something to whine about.

Brand traits: Ubiquitous, embracing, variable

Tagline: Say adios to static electricity

Highlight of 2011: 100% humidity during the drenching rains that caused roadway flooding and hours of travel delay that kept Brandsinger from making a client workshop on time

Cost: my entire fee

A universe of top brands

Brandsinger salutes these and the other unsung brands of 2011, from the reassuring bubbling of oatmeal to the manly roar of the Maori Haka dancers to the haunting rustle of cottonwood trees, life is filled with the sounds and promise of brands that sing.

Happy New Year!

Brandsinger

The dangers of over-enthusiasm

2011-12-21T17:42:00.000-08:00

Creative urges sometimes get the better of us, and enthusiasm can drive away the very people we're trying to attract. Once—while interviewing for a job—I became very enthusiastic about my personal achievements, got up from the table, and strolled around for a minute while still talking. Turns out, I later learned, the interviewers at the table were alarmed. They asked an intermediary, "Why did he bolt from his chair in mid-sentence and ramble around waving his arms?"

It is with sympathy, therefore, that I think of the eager soul who created this poster for a small clinic in Cheshire, Connecticut.

Instead of enticing customers inside for a flu shot, this emotionally charged sign surely causes them to shudder and walk on. I know that I would rather risk a virulent flu than walk into that clinic, roll up my sleeve, and face the business end of a needle the size of a pine tree.

Next flu season, this enthusiastic artist should take a few deep breaths and practice drawing smiley faces.

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What others say about you

2011-12-17T18:46:00.001-08:00

The final guest post from my grad students at NYU is by Emilie Fetterley, who, like Gov. Rick Perry, is no shrinking violet when it comes to expressing her political views.

by Emilie Fetterly

In a Forbes article a few weeks ago, Denise Suttman cites my favorite definition of what it is we do as public relations professionals: “Advertising is what you say about yourself. PR is what you get others to say about you.”

This may be true, but what then qualifies as "good PR" and what qualifies as "bad?"

Rick Perry's campaign video in which he slanders homosexuals and condemns Obama for his "war on religion" has been viewed by over 5 million people around the world. Now, most of the impressions of his ad are coming from mocking rebuttals like this:

Ok, humor aside, what publicist allowed this video to be made? A genius or an idiot? This video is offensive, horribly written and instigating. He may have just lost himself an election, but he did instigate. Isn't that the end goal of any public relations campaign? To succeed in the ever elusive call to action?

My lack of respect for this candidate has fallen no lower than its already subterranean level, but I have spent far more time than I should admit enjoying the responses. Am I one of the many who fell victim to a brilliant attention ploy or on the bandwagon of those laughing at a celebrity's stupidity?

Emilie hails from Seattle and though now a two-year New Yorker maintains her fierce loyalty to all things Starbucks in the land of Dunkin Donuts and Delis. Emilie began her career in London and now works in the healthcare practice of a large public relations firm.

Nothing Says Christmas Like...Red Cups!

2011-12-07T09:52:00.000-08:00

Our next guest post comes from NYU grad student Gabi Hui, who often smiles but has reason for the downcast look. Read on...

With the cost-efficiency and reach of social media, marketing campaigns are momentary and fleeting. If I didn’t know how much they cost to put together, I would even say they’re a dime a dozen. It’s difficult to capture an audience nowadays, and exponentially more difficult to build a campaign with longevity.

All hail the Starbucks Red Cups!

Starbucks began selling their holiday beverages in their symbolic red cups in 1997. That’s fourteen years! I’m trying to think whether anything I own right now has lasted fourteen years. *Blank* And what’s more impressive is that they have seamlessly integrated these Red Cups into the holiday season. What was the last company to capitalize on the most profitable purchase season of the year to this magnitude? Coca-Cola?

And people are extremely loyal to these Red Cups. There are websites counting down the days until the Red Cups are back. Every year, my Facebook newsfeed is flooded with status updates about their return. There are fan groups dedicated to Red Cups. And why not? For $5, an over-joyful Starbucks barista can place a delightful Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha in a red cup with cheerful little characters into your hands. You deserve it, especially after wrestling with what you should write about in a 250-word entry for your PR Writing class.

What’s more is that this year, Starbucks incorporated an Augmented Reality experience to their infamous Red Cups. Customers can download an app to their iPhones or Android devices. Pointing your camera phone at characters on Red Cups or other merchandise will produce animations on your phone.

Don’t get it? Take a look. Click here for video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWwQXi9RG0w&feature=youtu.be

Gaby Hui is a candidate for a master's degree in public relations and corporate communications at NYU. "I dropped my last piece of Red Velvet cupcake during a holiday shopping marathon last year. This is why I look so sad."

Grammy honors sales, airplay, success

2011-12-06T13:32:00.001-08:00

This guest post comes from Julia Knox, who is proud to share her views on pop music.

The 2012 Grammy nominations were announced last week, honoring the so-called best music of the past year. As with every year, there were snubs (no Kanye West for Album of the Year? ) and surprises (who the heck is Skrillex?).

The Grammys have turned increasingly mainstream in recent years, as seen by nominating perennial singles artists Katy Perry and Rihanna for Albums of the Year. This has caused a debate: Are they really about honoring the best music of the past year, or are they more a celebration of sales and airplay? Do the Grammys still matter?

I say yes. The Grammys still have a bit of prestige that shows such as the American Music Awards lack. The term “Grammy-winning Artist” is still a measure of tremendous success, one that many musicians aspire to. Yes, they’ve gone more mainstream in recent years, but there will be missteps every year (seriously, no Album of the Year for Kanye West, who had the best-reviewed release of the year? I blame Taylor Swift.) At least for now, winning a Grammy is still an honor.

Julia left a lifetime of Southern living to study Public Relations & Corporate Communication in NYC. She loves cooking, running, and Kanye West.

Celebrity Worship Syndrome

2011-12-01T12:29:00.000-08:00

Our first guest blogger of the month—Latoya Bess—sees danger in the nation's preoccupation with people famous for being famous.

During the Great Depression, celebrities like Charlie Chaplin, Rita Hayworth, and Fred Astaire took millions of Americans away from the troubling thoughts of their financial struggles and into a fantasy realm of Hollywood heaven.

Today, with the Iraq and Afghanistan wars and the stagnant U.S. economy, Americans have again found an escape through numerous celebrity tales from Kim Kardashian’s quickie wedding to Beyonce’s long-awaited pregnancy. While this may seem to be harmless entertainment, many Americans have fallen to an obsessive-addictive disorder, dubbed by psychologists as Celebrity Worship Syndrome.

With a plethora of media outlets constantly exposing and glamorizing the lives of celebrities, it’s no wonder that people are becoming more obsessed with entertainers, athletes, and political figures. Ever notice the slew of magazines such as People, The National Enquirer, and Star in every grocery store line and newsstand? What about television shows like Entertainment Tonight, The Wendy Williams Show, countless reality shows, and even entire networks like E!, that offer the most personal and sometimes irrelevant details of celebrities’ private lives ?

As if the papers and TV shows aren’t enough, the world of social media has become a gateway for immediate access to your favorite star’s every move, with Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, blogs, and fan sites.

While it is normal to admire celebrities and public figures, we must be careful not to emotionally connect ourselves with people we do not know. We should only use celebrities as inspiration to live our own lives the best way we can.

Born in Stuttgart, Germany, Latoya is obsessed with travel, fashion, and entertainment. She is a recent graduate of Clark Atlanta University and is now pursuing a Master’s in Public Relations Management at NYU.

Black Friday injustice

2011-11-29T14:36:00.000-08:00

Today's guest commentary comes from Mariya Ryaskova, who is an avid retail shopper turned avid champion of retail workers.

In the past few years, most merchandisers have opened up for sales in the earliest hours of the Friday after Thanksgiving. This year, though, some major retailers changed their opening times. Wal-Mart, Target, Best Buy and Toys ‘R’ Us opened up for sale between 9PM and 10PM on the evening of Thanksgiving.

Of course, for some consumers, this was great news. However, a number of people are outraged with these “greedy” retailers as workers had much less time to spend with their families during one of the most sacred holidays in the US. Is this fair? Absolutely not! In fact, 200,000 people recently signed a viral petition to Target on change.org protesting the earlier opening times, claiming that a full Thanksgiving holiday is not only for the “elite of this nation.”

Personally speaking, I’m a girly girl who loves shopping, and sales are an essential part of my existence. Yet, I still support the consumers who found these opening hours inappropriate. Consider the “Occupy Wall Street” protests, which indicate just how fed up Americans actually are with corporate greed.

Maybe some retailers decided to open up earlier because they want to stay competitive. But they must not forget the strength of the voice of average Americans, who weren’t heard until the “Occupy” protests took a very influential turn. Today, this voice is stronger than ever and can easily turn against retailers who ignored it. Banks are learning their lesson now. Are retailers next?

Mariya Ryaskova was born in Kazakhstan, grew up in Russia, and has lived in the UK for the past 8 years. She is following her dream of becoming a true PR specialist with the help of NYU.

Step away from the computer

2011-11-28T05:17:00.000-08:00

Students from my NYU writing class continue to Occupy Brandsinger. Today's guest blogger, Malorie Ginsberg, writes of her struggle with an overabundance of digital friends.

Have you ever wanted to take your computer and your cell-phone and throw it out the window? I do. I do all the time. It's as if these small inanimate objects are a jail cell keeping me locked up without any hope of freedom. I am not one of those people who have their fingers glued to a keyboard at all times. But, I am a person who is kept on a tight leash by their electronics.

In many ways, cell-phones and social media have made us more accessible, more exposed and more alone. Is it normal that I have six hundred fifty friends on Facebook? Yes, I am a product of the digital age. Everyone is who is anyone is on Facebook and I NEED to be friends with every person I have ever given a head nod to in passing in order to fill my popularity quota in social networking.

In truth, it is not normal that six hundred and fifty of my “closest” friends have access to my pictures, thoughts and comments. Social media is a great tool for business. However, I feel it is making us less social and more stalker-like. Is it really necessary for me to know that you checked in on Facebook at John's House, Applebee's and the movies? I mean I guess it is if I'm planning on robbing your house. I know you're not home.

I am not preaching for everyone to retreat into an Amish way of life, but I am asking you to reflect on how technology dictates and manipulates you. For those of you who text message, you can probably sympathize with the anxiety I feel thirty seconds after I hit send. It usually is something along the lines of why haven't they responded yet? Maybe I shouldn't have said that? Sometimes we all need to take a chill pill.

Cinderella didn't text message Prince Charming wanting to know his every move. So, a word to the wise: put your cell-phone down, walk away from your computer and disconnect for at least an hour every day. You'll be surprised by how liberated you will feel.

Malorie Ginsberg is a Brooklyn native with a passion for music and the arts. Currently, she is pursuing her Masters in Public Relations and Corporate Communication at NYU.

Limitations of the Reframe

2011-11-27T16:17:00.000-08:00

Today's guest blogger—Carol Richardson—demonstrates a savvy understanding of how an apparently ordinary story changes meaning when it is told in a changed context.

Herman Cain is out of luck. He can’t compete for media attention with a man who, until recently, few of us had even heard of. In the past few weeks the alleged acts of former Penn State defensive coordinator, Jerry Sandusky, have tarnished the reputation of brands and individuals—Penn State, Joe Paterno, Graham Spanier, and Mike McQueary to name a few. Their crime: choosing to put football ahead of children.

But who is the real Sandusky? A 1987 NBC interview of Jerry Sandusky, which resurfaced recently, highlights the power of framing a story.

Back in 1987 Sandusky was cast as the “hero” who set up a charity to help troubled children. Within the context of this narrative the interview showed an affable man, dedicated to helping children.

Fast-forward 24 years and we interpret the same interview with the same man very differently. In light of the allegations against Sandusky, his role in the narrative has changed; he has been recast as the “villain.” Suddenly we notice the menacing smile and his reluctance to look at the camera. Phrases like “frustrated playground director” and “I just have a good time with them” take on a new meaning.

So what was Sandusky (or his lawyer) thinking when he agreed to a telephone interview with Bob Costas? Did he seriously expect to reframe his own story? Despite denying full sexual contact, Sandusky’s hesitant response to the question, “Are you sexually attracted to young boys, to under age boys?” sealed his role in the narrative—at least in the court of public opinion.

Carol Richardson grew up across the pond and has lived and worked in several countries. She loves travel, adventure, and meeting new people—and still prefers rugby over any other kind of "football"—English or American.

Club Quarters: The language of marketing cues

2011-11-27T06:38:00.000-08:00

I was to stay one night in Washington last week, and my client offered me a choice of hotels. One was a brand known to me as fancy and expensive (not The Four Seasons but something equally ritzy sounding—like the Rolex Suites or the Lamborghini Lodge). Nah. Not appropriate to spend that kind of dough for this trip.

The other option was a hotel called Club Quarters—which I had never heard of. What was that one like?

I clicked into the Club Quarters website and there was a phrase that stuck out like a tarantula on a slice of angel food cake. This hotel was "for the sensible traveler." Hoo-boy! What an ominously communicative word: "sensible."

A hotel for the "sensible traveler" would have no pillow mint, terry-cloth robe or mini-bar. It's a hotel where you check in using an ATM-like machine—and where you wake yourself up in the morning. No continental breakfast... You walk upstairs to your 10th-floor room. The gym is a rubber ball you squeeze. And heat? Just wear your flannel shirt to bed. After all, you're probably from Maine—the legendary hub of sensible folks.

I stayed there, and it was not spartan, as you can see from the picture. It was just fine—even better: Without the gratuitous and excessive indicators of extreme coddling found in many hotels, I felt... I felt that I was... I was being... well, sensi... no, I was being deprived!

Just kidding. "Sensible" I was. Great word. Apt signal of value delivered.

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United Colors of Benetton’s “Unhate”

2011-11-20T14:48:00.000-08:00

Today's guest blogger played hockey as a child in Canada and probably knows a thing or two about bashing lips. Question: Is authenticity really a prerequisite for public relations campaigns? Let's find out from Heena Chavda...

My jaw dropped when a tweet crossed my screen, “Obama kisses Chavez.” Intrigued, I clicked on the link to see my screen fill with a striking (yet obviously photoshopped) image of Pres. Obama in a lip-locked kiss with Pres. Hugo Chavez.

The image is courtesy of the UnHate Foundation, established by the United Colors of Benetton. With its mandate to “contribute to the creation of a new culture of tolerance” the ad campaign sees the likes of world leaders including the Pope, Sheikh al-Tayeb, and Pres. Hu Jintao in simple, yet provocative kisses. The only thing that crossed my mind was “WOW! Benetton has got guts!”

As many companies these days, Benetton launched the campaign over social media, and there was an immediate flurry of activity. Mostly, people were shocked by the images, but the “Unhate” message seemed to resonate. Of course, some religious rights groups immediately called for the image of the Pope be removed, and as the weeks go on, I’m sure other groups will be outraged and call for the campaign to end.

As public relations practitioners, we know the number one obligation in our industry is to be authentic. While the underlying sentiments of the Unhate campaign—tolerance and love through the universal sign for love, the kiss—are authentic, showing world leaders in these provocative, entirely out-of-context positions is not. A campaign depicting “real” people of different races, colors, and religions in a lip-locked embrace may lack the shock value of the current campaign, but it would have gotten closer to the authenticity of those ideas the campaign is intended to communicate.

Hate it or love it, this bold campaign has definitely sparked conversations all over the world.

Heena Chavda grew up in the northern city of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. She is a student, an explorer, a cook, a wannabe photographer, and an avid hockey fan (GO Oilers!).

Keep Me Where The Light Is

2011-11-18T18:01:00.000-08:00

Tonight's essay—a meditation, really—comes from guest blogger Courtney Couch, who urges us to take away the right lessons from today's news.

In a time when the media is oversaturated with the foolishness of Herman Cain, the publicity stunts of Kim K and the repugnant Penn State skullduggery, there seems to be no light in the midst of all of society’s darkness.

Moral responsibility seems to be at an all time low as people witness the sexual abuse of children and do nothing. Marriage is being made into a mockery as celebrities turn the sacred institution into a cash cow, while millions of American’s support and feed into all the corruption. Sheesh, is the end really near?

Monday night as I cringed through Bob Costas’ interview of Jerry Sandusky incriminating himself on NBC, I was DVR’ing a “20/20” special that I had no idea would be so sublime.

Congresswoman Gabrielle Gifford’s recovery segment by Diane Sawyer was a breath of fresh air and inspiration that isn’t often provided in the media nowadays. In the midst of disheartening headlines, political distrust, and an economic crisis, this special served as a timely remainder of hope and courage.

Gabby’s miraculous survival and speedy recovery gave me goose bumps (meaning I really cried like a baby) and encouraged me beyond words. As ABC has reported, The Special Edition of “20/20” with Diane Sawyer reporting “Gabby and Mark: Courage and Hope” averaged 13.4 million viewers. At the 10 o’clock hour, the special ranked as the most-watched TV show overall and ranked #1 across all key women demographics. I hope the 13.4 million viewers accepted and shared the message they took from the segment. May they inspire their peers just as Gabby inspired me to be steadfast in my beliefs and always push forward no matter what.

As Diane concluded, sometimes life is about “finding the courage you need when the life you live is not the life you planned and learning that there has to be many definitions of a beautiful day.” May we all seek to be individual beacons of light, and have the courage to always do what’s right.

Courtney Couch is a UNC alumna who loves lyrics, laughter, food and a good debate. She's seeking her master's in corporate communication and PR at NYU all while staying loyal to her Tar Heels!

Consider keeping your opinions to yourself (the author included)

2011-11-17T18:23:00.000-08:00

Tonight's guest blog comes from a student who prefers to stay anonymous, given her observations. Take it away...

Our CEO recently told us he wanted a blog. We said no.

As corporate communicators at a large professional services company, we know the pitfalls and challenges of starting a blog—resources, content, commitment. We also knew the CEO wasn’t fully invested in the project, which would likely die a very public death.

We are not Google, IBM, GE or the like. Our CEO thought he needed to boost his web presence simply because the “other guys” are online—clearly the wrong reason to take on the massive task of a blog.

In the digital age, I see this mistake repeated whenever a friend launches a new travel/literary/mom blog. Just because social media tools—Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube—allow you to tell the world how you feel, doesn’t mean you should. I am all in favor of the open marketplace of ideas, but we should first consider whether we have anything truly insightful to share.

Take the news from Penn State. Logging on to Facebook the morning after coach Paterno was fired, my news feed showed an overwhelming number of opinions about child assault, mixed with baby pictures and “Had an awesome weekend!” posts. No one would argue that Penn State’s behavior wasn’t abhorrent, but none of the sentiment was new or intelligent. Facebook seemed like the wrong medium for this type of rant, which only served to fuel people’s anger.

NPR recently ran a story about using caution in your online communications because you don’t know your audience or how it will interpret your message [Your Friends Are Not Your Audience: A Disturbing Internet Lesson in Perspective]. When online, the traditional filters—editors, directors, agents—don’t exist. The aspiring artist or thought leader must create his or her own standards or face serious criticism. In our case, the CEO backed down from his quest for a blog. He instead agreed to test his wings on Twitter. Like him, would-be bloggers should think twice before assuming their ideas will genuinely contribute to the larger discussion.

—Unless you plan to write about food. The world always needs more food blogs.

Our author describes herself as "a corporate communicator at a major professional services organization. A news and trivia junkie, she loves her Green Bay Packers and a good Oregon Pinot noir."

Making Commercials Scene

2011-11-16T18:55:00.000-08:00

Today's guest blogger studies PR at NYU—while somehow managing to keep up with her TV—uh, study of mass media. The combo yields these insights from Chloe Licht:

DVR and TiVo have completely transformed the way I (and I bet most of you) watch TV. As I sit here staring absently at the TV, I count 24 shows set up to record weekly. (You might think this number would embarrass me, but in reality compared to others it is relatively low).

When I was younger, I only followed one or two shows religiously because I had to physically be there to watch them live (oh, the horror!). On average, in a 30-minute program only 18 minutes were spent on content, while the other 12 were commercials. While I secretly loved and memorized the old Kit Kat jingles and Pepsi songs, today I am able to maximize my time spent watching TV. Thanks to the wonderful FF button, I no longer have to waste my time watching commercials.

How can commercials be effective if we are constantly fast-forwarding through them?

Audi has come up with a creative strategy to combat this issue. It has teamed up with the FX Network to create a series of 8 short 2-minute films. The campaign is named “Untitled Jersey City Project.” This film series is based solely on the premise of product placement. However, the company name is never explicitly referred to within the films. Instead, they feature enticing footage of Audis driving through dramatic scenes. The episodes are shown in movie theaters before the previews. And as you probably already realized, you can’t fast forward at the movies!

After seeing the initial episode in the theater, I was both curious and confused. I had no idea I was watching an ad. At the end of the film, viewers were urged to visit the website http://www.fxnetworks.com/untitledjerseycityproject/ to view more.

I was surprised and impressed when I realized the entire production was an advertising campaign. Clearly, there is still a way to get us to watch and engage in commercials. In this case, the key was thinking outside the box…Literally.

Chloe Licht grew up in Providence, Rhode Island. She loves to bust a move and has a passion for spicy food (especially Sriracha). She is pursuing her Masters in Public Relations & Corporate Communication at NYU.

Gen-Xer with attitude

2011-11-15T08:59:00.000-08:00

Another in our new series—guest posts from my students in the NYU masters program in public relations: This defiant declaration comes from a typically "skeptical," "realistic," "ironic," "distrustful," and "creative" gen-Xer, Susan Rucci.

X’D OUT BUT FIGHTING OUR WAY BACK IN

Twenty years ago Nirvana released “Nevermind.” Kurt Cobain’s raw lyrics reverberated among Generation X who used the album as a rallying cry for their disenchantment with the political and economic times.

I’m one of them—an X’er in age and attitude. Kurt Cobain was speaking for me. 46 million of us were born between the mid 1960s to late 1970s. We often feel like the overlooked middle child, sandwiched in between Baby Boomers and the Millennials.

In noting the “Nevermind” anniversary, I realized had Kurt Cobain lived, he would now be a middle-aged man. So, who are we today? For one thing, we’re older. Generation X started turning 40 a few years ago. Unlike baby boomers who crave a parade for every milestone, X’ers did this one quietly. Perhaps we did it too quietly. It’s as though businesses and marketers have forgotten all about us. But ‘You Oughta Know” about us, to borrow loosely from singer and fellow X’er, Alanis Morissette.

We have money. We also have parents who have money. The Boston College Center on Wealth and Philanthropy estimates a $71 trillion intergenerational wealth transfer from 1998 to 2052. Generation X will be on the receiving end of much of that. We may be the last generation, for the foreseeable future, to inherit substantial estates from their parents. With Social Security and Medicare teetering on the brink of extinction, we’ll need that money too. We’ll be relying on the private sector for more of our needs as we age.

If you want our business, then understand who we are: Educated. Independent. Technologically adept. Realistic. Practical. Cautious. Ambivalent. Skeptical. Ironic. Distrustful. Creative.

Don’t call us slackers. It’s not true. We’ve worked harder for less money, less benefits and less job security. All the rules keep changing on us. Yet, we survive and thrive. Reinvention.

Here’s who we are: Jon Stewart, Michelle Obama, Jay-Z, Julia Roberts, Ben Stiller, Anderson Cooper, Jennifer Lopez, Eminem, Jennifer Aniston and, you betcha, Sarah Palin too.

The refrain from Nirvana’s “Smells like Teen Spirit” sums us up really well. Cobain raged, “Here we are now, entertain us!” Yep, and if you do it right, we might just buy what you’re selling too.

Susan Rucci went through a brief but meaningful “flannel shirt” phase in the early 1990s. She is reinventing herself as she pursues a Master’s degree in Public Relations from NYU. For 20 years, Susan worked as a network news producer at CBS News and Good Morning America. @susanrucci loves Twitter too.

Smoking—the perfect way to drive a message home

2011-11-11T06:48:00.000-08:00

Today we kick-off a new series: guest blogs by students in my PR WRITING class at NYU. Be ready for knock-your-socks-off opinions from a dozen young professional communicators who have verve, insights and a POV.

Smoking—the perfect way to drive a message home

by Alicia Hart

In a political blunder, Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain faced some backlash over his campaign ad that went viral. In the ad, Cain’s chief of staff praises him, saying, “America has never seen a candidate like Herman Cain.” It ends when his chief of staff takes a drag on a cigarette. I found the smoking bit quite funny; I laughed and quickly forgot about Herman Cain being the “right” man for the job.

Cain appeared on Face the Nation and tried to rationalize why his team decided to include the bit at the end. When asked by Bob Schieffer whether it was meant to be funny, Cain said it was meant to be informative. Once Cain revealed he was a cancer survivor, his argument lost all merit. Cain stumbled over his answers, and he was trying to divert attention back to his campaign message. It seemed to me that at the end of their talk, Schieffer almost forced Cain to say smoking was not cool and that young people shouldn’t do it. Well then why did you include it in the ad Cain?!

So my question is, was it a publicity stunt just to get Cain’s name out there? And maybe implant his name in the minds of those who may have no knowledge of who he is?

Do campaign ads really work? In my opinion, they are the platform to completely bash either your opponent in the same party, or the current person in the office you’re trying to attain. They don’t sway my vote, but then again I consume most of my news online, and the only time I watch a campaign ad is when it stirs the controversy pot and goes viral. Hmmmm… so maybe that was his plan all along. Kudos Mr. Cain—you got my attention when I otherwise would have devoted a blog post to a candidate I actually support.

Alicia Hart grew up in Phoenix, Arizona, loves a good book recommendation, and is a candidate for a Masters in Public Relations and Corporate Communication at NYU.

GNC—Burying your head in the brand

2011-10-26T08:16:00.000-07:00

Even healthy brands can develop a suspicious cough… and before you know it come down with pneumonia.

In the past couple of months Netflix—which seemed to have muscles coming out of its ears—took off its raincoat to reveal the physique of Mohandas Gandhi on a diet of lime juice. Yesterday, Netflix stock lost 35% of its value.

Netflix's problems are well known—and it’s understandable that the CEO tried his damnedest to adapt his DVD-by-mail business to the emerging world of streaming video. “I messed up,” he wrote at one point. Well, he tried.

Now let’s look at another big, muscular brand—GNC, purveyor of nutritional supplements. GNC promises health—and hair and potency and beauty and... the works. Recent studies show that vitamin supplements actually may do nothin' for no-one no way—and that they might even harm some bodies.

What!!!? Supplementary vitamins might do harm? The Wall Street Journal asked on October 25—“Is This the End of Popping Vitamins?” Seems relevant to the GNC business model, no? Yet this is how GNC responds:

"The thing you do with [reports of studies] is just ride them out, and literally we see no impact on our business," said Joseph Fortunato, chief executive of supplement retailer GNC Corp., according to a transcript of the company's third-quarter conference call last week.

"Consumers believe in our products," a spokesman for GNC said.

I would call this burying your head in the brand.

Dear Mr. Fortunato of GNC: Do not ask for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee.

Brandsinger

Don't brand your ores

2011-10-07T18:11:00.000-07:00

When I pontificate on branding at two of our nation's fairest dens of higher learning, I show a simple slide like this: The appeal of products such as luxury goods lies in the mystique of their brands. For other items—like a half ton of raw sulfur—investment in branding would be a waste. Perhaps sulfur from one region is purer than sulfur from another—but beyond that sort of distinction there can be little value in naming your sulfur "Stinky" and designing a logo for it.

Now enter the brilliant hedge fund manager John Hempton of Bronte Capital. John likes a perfume that his wife happens to have on her body one day, and driven mad by its powerful scent, he lunges insanely for the perfume bottle and begins to analyze its chemical makeup. How much could these ingredients cost by the ton? Perhaps there is an investment play here? (Meanwhile, we can imagine his wife sitting glumly on the bed, legs crossed, a shiny red pump dangling from her foot, wondering if rather than buy perfume that day she should have stayed home and poured herself a scotch.)
Here is John's closeup of the perfume bottle with contents. (Click picture for a close-up.) Apparently officials in Australia, where John and his Chanel-bedaubed wife live, make you print the ingredients on everything, even bags of bait. "Ingredients: Sand worms, beach sand") But please read the brilliant investment analysis from John, who is both a crafty investor and most engaging writer.

Moral: A ton of chemicals can be turned into thousand-dollar-bottles of precious liquid thanks to the wonders of fragrance technology and the invaluable magic of brand professionals like you.

brandsinger

Siamak: Define your brand

2011-09-24T15:56:00.000-07:00

What could be more fun than hanging out in a public library with 90 software developers, designers and entrepreneurs?

Let me rephrase that. How cool is this: Spending the day at “Startup Weekend Hartford” with earnest guys and gals in jeans coaxing new web businesses out of fertile minds.

One treat was the noon-time harangue by Siamak Taghaddos—co-founder of Grasshopper. Siamak looks into the heart of great brands and sees a clear definition, not confusion—a soul, not just features.

Siamak’s advice to the jeaned teams: “You can’t throw money at features and expect to have a brand.”

To illustrate, Siamak played a video of former Yahoo! CEO Carol Bartz struggling to answer a single, merciless question: “What is Yahoo!?”

Yahoo is a great company that is very, very strong in content for its users, uses amazing technology to serve up what increasingly we think is going to be the web of one. For instance, on our today module in the front page, every 5 minutes we have 32,000 different variations of that module. So you don’t even know what I’m seeing in fact we serve a million different front-page modules a day and that’s just through content optimization. And that’s just the beginning…Customized because we know the things you’re interested in. Maybe you don’t like light entertainment maybe you like a certain sports team, etc., etc. And our click through rate went up twice. So the point is, people come to us to find out what is going on with the world in a very nice quick fashion to do their communications, email, messenger, check-in on their teens. We all know about Yahoo finance. It’s a place where you can just get it together. It’s collated for you, it’s all the things as you’re moving, you can even get your social information there. Everybody moves through many websites in a day, Yahoo is one they always stop at.

All features and internet gobble-de-gook. Siamak’s deadpan reaction: wtf

Per Siamak: Great brands have a simple, bullet-proof reason for being: Facebook—helps you hook-up easier. Apple—makes you feel innovative. Google—makes you feel smarter. Virgin—makes you feel cool. Grasshopper—makes you feel in control.

Well said. I’m with you, man. Google does make me feel smarter. (Though come to think of it, hearing the former head of Yahoo! bungle a simple question also makes me feel smarter.)

Brandsinger

One picture, myriad themes, one complex narrative

2011-09-20T07:44:00.000-07:00

If I were to teach U.S. History again, I would start (and end) with this picture, which I just lifted from this morning's Drudge Report.

In this one picture are themes, not only of race relations in America (such a central issue from the first moments of Spanish and English settlement), but themes of technology (the jet plane), social mobility, optimism (the upward slant of the staircase), the decline of formalism in dress and the arts, the remaining differences of class (note one man's suit, the other's shirtsleeves and body language), the relationship between employer and employee (how subservient, what rights have been achieved, what roles have changed or remained), individualism and individual expression, the stature and limitations of the U.S. Presidency... and on and on.

One picture. One history course. An entire syllabus captured, introduced and summarized in this one evocative image.

brandsinger

UBS — Still not able to rest

2011-09-15T10:49:00.000-07:00

We were hard on UBS last month when we made fun of their motto, "We will not rest." We said the line was grandiose, not credible and ill-suited to an industry struggling to return to sobriety after years of reckless greed.

Will not rest? It's just not smart to promise what you can't deliver—any marketer knows that. Not to be taken literally? I wrote: "Not to be taken seriously."
Well, here comes the dreaded confirmation of the foolishness of that tagline. UBS just announced that a supposed rogue trader lost more than $2 billion in unauthorized bets, seriously compromising the bank's operations and plans. The loss is being called a massive failure of oversight and evidence of deeply flawed risk management. It confirms that the tagline's promise is a false claim of vigilance.

Will not rest? How about UBS—Asleep at the switch

Okay, that's a cheap shot. I take it back. But the point is, going to market with the line "we will not rest" is leading with your chin. As it turns out, a single UBS trader ("unauthorized" "rogue" whatever) was able to find his colleagues dozing at their desks—and the rest is history.

brandsinger

No longer saintly health care

2011-09-13T16:15:00.000-07:00

I would love to have been in the room when the leaders of Saint Barnabas Health Care voted to drop the “Saint” and change their name to Barnabas Health.

From the standpoint of naming practice, the change is understandable. Briefer is better. “Barnabas Health” has a nice rhythm and fits easily on business cards and billboards.

Is there an implied message here? Perhaps “Saint Barnabas” suggests elderly nuns holding hands and whispering prayers instead of providing the latest drugs. Certainly dropping the old-fashioned font and New Jersey logo was an easy call.

But what about dropping that "Saint"? Not an insignificant signal, although the official explanation sidesteps the issue:

Changing our name to Barnabas Health connects our tradition of health care excellence with the promise of a dynamic and progressive future. Barnabas Health also builds on the awareness and positive reputation of the Saint Barnabas Health Care System. Barnabas Health brings a fresh, enthusiastic feel to its brand and identity as New Jersey’s Health Care Leader.

Is the organization now freed from religious sensibilities? Some must fear that practices such as euthanasia and abortion, formerly banned, can now be considered.

As one who resists the fashionable purging of historical references in names and logos, I see a loss of emotional richness in the change. The historical Barnabas was a colleague of Paul and a leader of the early Christian Church. His sainthood was bestowed because of a life sacrificed to his faith and a death suffered for his beliefs. Demoting poor Barnabas to mere citizen—even if only on brochures and ambulances—moves the brand toward secular sameness.

I once worked with the Catholic-affiliated Providence Health and Services—a vast chain of hospitals, clinics and social services stretching from California to Alaska. The Providence leaders were smart, ambitious and kind. They had an endearing custom of starting every meeting with a brief meditation—a prayer, poem or (slightly syrupy) song.

No matter how smart-alecky and jaded we consultants might be, you can stop us in our tracks by starting a review of marketing data with a poem by Robert Frost or a song by John Denver.

And Saint Barnabas? I doubt his soul is troubled by the drop in stature. I doubt the old fellow worries about today's imperatives of brand marketing and corporate growth.

brandsinger

People as Pixels

2011-09-09T10:37:00.001-07:00

These displays of authoritarian aesthetics are endlessly fascinating. Little tiny insignificant human beings stand as pixels in a picture painted for the Great Leader.

What is in the minds of these human dabs of paint? Is that 1404^th Korean from the left thinking, “I am such a good little dot of red!” None of these little people can see the entire picture – except vicariously through the imagined eyes of the Great Leader.

The political point is obvious. All of us together – perfectly playing our roles – make up one nation.

Is this different from our own “E Pluribus Unum”? Depends on what the “e pluribus” refers to – states, people, ethnic backgrounds – and how complete the “Unum” – one nation or one single organism throbbing on the tarmac for the delight of one man.

These people are proud of their unity and deference. We are proud of our individualism and self-expression. If this were staged in New York, the dot of red would be thinking, “Pee-yu, what did the blue guy next to me eat for breakfast?”

Brandsinger

More horror from Lionsgate Entertainment Corp.

2011-09-03T07:03:00.000-07:00

My cousin Justin – who pores over a stock prospectus like a robin examining a lawn – came across this statement:

The registrant hereby amends this registration statement on such date or dates as may be necessary to delay its effective date until the registrant shall file a further amendment which specifically states that this registration statement shall thereafter become effective in accordance with Section 8(a) of the Securities Act, or until the registration statement shall become effective on such date as the Securities and Exchange Commission, acting pursuant to said Section 8(a), may determine.

It’s hard to imagine that these words were put together by a human being of our species. The writer – who actually thought this was communication – is, even now, moving freely among us.

A scary thought.

The person who wrote that sentence might be shopping in the next aisle over, might have handled the same plum or cherries you’re considering.

The world is populated by all kinds of miscreants and we’re obliged to treat everyone equally – even the person who wrote that sentence. Maybe it was you?

brandsinger

Baseball and Branding

2011-08-31T18:34:00.000-07:00

Here's one of the young, no-name Mets hitting a home run. Note the compact, powerful swing.

He leads with the hips... torso follows... then hands... the bat comes last... and BOOM!!

Do you see the parallels to branding?

The hips open first – that's the insight that drives the positioning strategy...

Then the torso turns as the entire organization moves into alignment...

The hands implement by writing the messages and drawing the pictures...

and the bat follows... BOOM!!... making all the noise and stealing all the credit. That would be the advertising agency.

brandsinger

Steve Jobs: Lessons for the business of branding

2011-08-25T20:13:00.000-07:00

The withdrawal of Steve Jobs provokes a search for lessons – and editorialists are churning them out by the megabyte.

I’d like to look at the impact of Jobs from the angle of those of us who make a living as professional branders. We who are paid to help companies create, renew and express their brands have our own lessons to draw from this man who has left so many jaws drooping in awe.

Lessons from Jobs specifically for the business of branding:

Lesson 1 – “Market research be damned, full speed ahead.”

How many times have clients asked a brand consultant to produce complex and costly research “because our management team is numbers oriented”? I’m positive Steve Jobs will not be remembered for his reaction to “the top two boxes” in a consumer survey. As the Wall Street Journal reminds us, Jobs built products "that hundreds of millions didn't know they wanted until Apple created them.” His vision and instincts, not his research prowess, drove his success.

The old line from Henry Ford springs to mind: “If I had asked my customers what they wanted, they would have said a faster horse.”

Is there a role for market research in the business of creating and renewing brands? A role, yes. But not, as so many brand marketers believe, the starring role.

Lesson 2 – “Collaboration be damned. Here’s how we’ll proceed.”

We know that Steve built a talented team at Apple and did not personally design and assemble every iPad. But on good authority we know that the only car in the Apple parking lot that was maliciously keyed was Jobs’ – so unloved was he by colleagues he overrode and diminished. Respect for others’ opinions is the hallmark of some leaders. Not S. J.

Lesson 3 – “Marketing jargon be damned. Speak of machines and people.”

I doubt you’ll ever be quoting Steve Jobs on how to "build brand equity” and or to "turn employees into brand ambassadors.” He commanded the stage with authoritative conviction about what people want and how astonishing his products could be. Skipping the marketing drivel that populates slide shows and annual reports, Jobs’ language has been about the wonderful machines he envisions and the joy they create.

Lesson 4 – "Design matters – a lot – okay, more than anything."

How important is design to the creation and delivery of any brand experience? Just compare the look, feel, touch, texture, color and sound of Apple products to those of competitors. 'Nuff said.

Lesson 5 – “Compromise be damned. Never give up.”

Creating and developing brands can be tedious. In a big organization, getting ideas accepted requires consensus, often achieved via a painstaking process that can lead to improvements but just as often to dilution of excellence.

I don’t want to cast Steve Jobs as our generation’s Winston Churchill but… Wait a minute, yes I do. Starting with his storming of the computer market and moving to his spectacular rescue of Apple and then to his personal battle against dread disease, Jobs has shown the grit and guts of Churchillian caliber. As commander of one of the world’s most victorious brands, Jobs will not be remembered as one of the world’s most tactful compromisers.

Should brand builders follow these lessons of Jobs’ career knowing that we may not succeed as he has? Sure, why not! We know that if we ignore these lessons and follow conventional wisdom, our wisdom will likely turn out to be conventional.

Brandsinger

UBS: Not to be taken literally

2011-08-13T10:37:00.001-07:00

The financial crisis reinforced all the ugly stereotypes of Wall Street bankers and their retinues. The public suspected they were a bunch of phonies – and their actions proved them so. Returns on mortgage-backed bonds? They turned out to be phony. Triple-A ratings from S&P – phony. The stability of Bear Stearns and Lehman Bros. – phony.

I remember the grandiose tagline of Morgan Stanley – “World Wise.” That proved to be false bravado. World weary was more like it, I suggested.

In the wake of the shakiness of capital markets – and the self-deception indulged by bankers – you would think that cautious humility would govern bank marketing.

You would think that bankers and their ad agencies would look in the mirror – stare deep into their own eyes – and vow to find only truth and speak it without qualification. You would think.

Well, take a look at this tagline from the banking giant UBS:

“We will not rest?” Why would anyone promise that? “Oh, Brandsinger, it’s just a figure of speech… not to be taken literally.”

You would think that someone – perhaps an unpaid intern with big eyes and a squeaky voice – would rise from the back of the room and say: “Please sir… We do rest. That makes this statement a false promise. It makes us appear to be liars.”

Richard Nixon once assured us, “I am not a crook.” Morgan Stanley once crowed, “We are world wise.” And now UBS promises: “We will not rest."

Not to be taken literally... not to be taken seriously.

brandsinger

Some people are more equal than others

2011-08-10T15:03:00.000-07:00

Many years ago my father invited an Englishman to dinner at our New York apartment, and I invited a friend who was from Afghanistan. After the plates were cleared and the Englishman had gone, I said to my friend, “That guy was pleasant, wasn’t he? Told good stories.” My friend from Afghanistan replied: “If I had a rifle I would shoot him.”

I gathered that the legacy of Englishmen is not always positive, especially in lands they once ruled. Is there an inherent trait in the English culture – in the “brand identity” of England – that stirs such anger?

The answer is becoming clear after three full nights of violent rioting in London. I keep hearing this line out of reporters there:

“As if to underline his resolve, [Prime Minister] Cameron underlined ‘nothing is off the table’ — including water cannon, commonly used in Northern Ireland but never deployed in mainland Britain." (AP)

It's shocking that the Brits a) haven't had the will to use water cannon and other serious measures to protect lives and property and b) freely admit that such tactics were never used in "mainland Britain" but only on those lesser citizens, the Irish.

I heard the same sentiment from the Deputy Mayor of London: We are ready to resort to water cannon and other strong measures that have been used in Northern Ireland but not in England.

The Irish must see the ugly implications of this. My cousin Justin has this sarcastic take: “The use of water cannon against those who are throwing rocks at the police, setting police vehicles ablaze, breaking into and setting fire to small businesses and large buildings would be cruel and unusual punishment. All you should do is politely inquire of the rioters if they might consider cessation of their actions in exchange for a spot of tea.”

Except if the rioters are mere Irish. Then bring on the high-pressure H2O!

Arrogance. That’s the brand attribute I was looking for.

brandsinger

Can't wait not to see this movie!

2011-08-03T16:28:00.000-07:00

According to Bloomberg, “Cowboys & Aliens” had 16 producers and eight credited writers. Eight writers? Did one specialize in verbs, one do nouns, and another handle syntax? "Hey, they stuck me with dangling participles!"

Soon there will be one guy cracking eggs, another flipping them, and a third salting them so that one customer can chew, another swallow and a third digest. Eight writers. Must have been hell reaching the keyboard.

brandsinger

Don't never use the passive voice

2011-07-30T07:33:00.000-07:00

Back in the 20th century writers loved wrecking the rules of grammar in the name of literary freedom. The poet e. e. cummings astounded readers by breaking one-two-three-four-five rules in a single sentence just like that. My friends in college declared that a preposition is not something to end a sentence with. The great satirist James Thurber told a meddling editor that, "When I split an infinitive, it is going to damn well stay split."

One prejudice that writers seemed loath to challenge is disdain for the passive voice. Good writing is assumed to rest on having strong, clear subjects act directly on well specified objects.

Ah but that passive voice... so maligned yet, as I know, so useful. This very morning I see a writer missing an opportunity for EDITORIAL IMMORTALITY due to a misguided circumvention of the passive. From the Wall Street Journal 7.30.11:

The only way out of this mess is to return to the growth policies that nurtured the boom of the 1980s. The circumstances aren't the same... But the principles are the same: Encourage businesses to expand, rather than government; let markets allocate capital, rather than politicians; liberate entrepreneurs by reining in the regulatory state.

Putting politics aside, I read this paragraph and was bothered by the stylistic choices. "let markets allocate capital, rather than politicians" is messy and inefficient. "Politicians" and "markets" should be paired in close counterpoint.

To recast the thing, I build a stronger sentence with the help of one passive construction... thus:

Encourage the expansion of businesses, not government; let capital be allocated by markets, not politicians; give more freedom to entrepreneurs, not regulators.

To me, such moments justify the new rule I will introduce to my fall writing class at NYU:
DON'T NEVER USE THE PASSIVE VOICE.

brandsinger

Is Summer a Brand?

2011-07-28T19:18:00.000-07:00

Summer is feminine. She calls out like a dangerous siren – “Come, you must have fun. It is time for you to have fun like when you were a little boy out of school. Why do you frown? This is no time to worry and pay bills. Take off your shirt.”

Summer toys with our senses. It is the season of troubling contrasts. The sun comes up cheeringly… and then turns the air into steaming dust. A swimming pool beckons in our dreams… but the real water collects on our brows and soaks our pants.

You tell yourself to be happy. “Don’t forget that brutal winter. Remember the cold wind biting your ears. Summer is wonderful… summer is… I'm slightly dizzy… summer is so… but remember the angry winter when you longed for a summer day…”

Summer nights are so alive – bugs sing… people shout and perfume the air with their bodies. Cities throb and stink and teem with half-naked humans while small towns exude the rich scent of wet bark and honeysuckle.

Summer whispers: “Take off that shirt. C’mon, do it here on the train platform.” While AT&T says: “Fine, but pay my bill first.”

brandsinger

Corporate image advertising - Take 2

2011-07-28T10:17:00.000-07:00

Last September I raised eyebrows... okay, it was hackles and fists... by poking fun of corporate image advertising in the Economist. I criticized – okay, one person said I wrote "scathing bitchy" comments – ouch! – those vapid, full-page expressions of corporate vanity that appear in business publications. These image ads are expensive and inane.

I picked out an ad by the mining company Vale as example, pointing out how the ad followed the conventions of this hoary genre.

Well, I see in Bloomberg BusinessWeek a new version of the Vale ad and – yes, bitchiness eschewed – I think this one is better. The new picture is warmer and more engaging, the scribbled word "sustainability" has more topical relevance than the previous "future," the body text is not inane (I hope the other copywriter is doing well – dude, it wasn't personal!), and a strong headline replaces the block of white text on muddy background.

I still despise and decry corporate image ads, though investors and employees may enjoy seeing their logo displayed next to breezy articles on marketing jeans and exploiting wind power.

So: well done, Vale team. My petty sniping had nothing to do with your improvements in corporate-image-ad-2.0. But as long as you are competing for eyeballs against Deutschebank and Hitachi, you might as well put your best face forward.

brandsinger

Charles R. Morris comments on Borders

2011-07-24T12:15:00.000-07:00

We are honored to have a guest comment emailed from Charles R. Morris – author of a dozen books including The Trillion Dollar Meltdown, The Tycoons, American Catholic, The Surgeons: Life and Death in a Top Heart Center, and The Cost of Good Intentions. Charlie – my friend for many years – astutely and forgivingly adds explanatory depth to my recent post on the collapse of Borders.

I thought your Borders post started strong, but faded.
Not your fault. You nailed the problem, but then imply that the solution was obvious and doable, and it’s not about selling ‘ideas.’ The truth is that it’s almost impossible to make a wrenching change in a successful business model, until it’s too late – for the reason that you don’t know how. Xerox still hasn’t done it, nor has Barnes & Noble. IBM did it twice, which is impressive and rare.
About twenty years ago B&N and Borders revolutionzed book selling by killing off the mom and pops, opening large well-lit stores, with plenty of room for, and encouragement for, browsing and lingering. I did a book tour in 1993 in California, and was stunned at these stores. The events were invariably well-planned. I could find my books easily, they kept print runs in stock far longer than the mom and pops because they had the space, etc etc. The NY literati mocked them for mass marketing and made fun of them in movies like 'You’ve got Mail’, but they were a boon for the publishing industry.
Then Amazon started to sell books without bookstores, and made a smash hit out of it, and was a leader with the Kindle. And then it was the erstwhile rebels who were scrambling to rediscover their raison d’etre, and not finding much.
Because Amazon was at heart a Seattle technology company, not a book store, the path to paperless ’books’ was a lot easier. When the business model changes to one that favors the upstart, the proper course for the old-model company is usually not to emulate the startup, but to give the money back to its stockholders and just quietly die.

Charlie: Thanks for this wise commentary.

brandsinger

Goodbye Borders – Brand in search of a purpose

2011-07-22T10:27:00.000-07:00

I received a “fond farewell” email from Borders CEO Mike Edwards, who thanked me for my support and expressed the hope that Borders would “remain in the hearts of readers for years to come.”

Yes, in our hearts right alongside the Oldsmobile, Walkman and Nobody Beats the Wiz.

Why did Borders fail? Mr. Edwards cites external reasons – a rapidly changing book industry, the eReader revolution, and a turbulent economy. Surely the merciless competition from amazon.com and Barnes & Noble (itself under pressure) were manifestations of these powerful forces.

Perhaps a clue to Borders’ failure lies in the CEO’s final message: He writes that Borders spent “40 years of igniting the love of reading in generations of customers.”

Edwards closes wistfully: “I feel privileged to have had the opportunity to lead Borders and play a role in the true and noble cause of expanding access to books and promoting the joy of reading.”

But wait. Was that what Borders did? Was “igniting the love of reading” the job of the brand? Did investors buy the stock to join “the true and noble cause of expanding access to books and promoting the joy of reading”?

To me, this sounds quaint and out of touch – like the mission of a municipal library circa 1960. Expanding access to books is low on my list of true and noble causes.

Perhaps Borders would still be in business – leading the eReader revolution and other changes instead of succumbing to them – if the company had shunned the cause of blanketing the world with books and found a more relevant and compelling reason for being.

If, for example, the brand had been about ideas instead of the physical books or useful information instead of reading, perhaps the Borders team would have been able to shape the future that amazon is now creating without them.

Brandsinger

The Met Life tagline

2011-07-14T14:28:00.000-07:00

MetLife, with its cuddly Snoopy mascot, promises to give us "Guarantees for the IF in life"

I judged the campaign a little too cute for its own good – or for my good. But I never had a solid reason for dismissing it. I'm averse to word-play in taglines – "the if in life" – but that's being fussy.

Putting the MetLife line in historical context might help. Over the years, the company's slogans changed with the times.

1909 – The Light That Never Fails.

A religious feeling to this one... seems to imply affiliation with the Big Guy upstairs.

1922 – Not Best Because It's Biggest–But Biggest Because It's Best.

This silliness caused many to cancel their policies – after wiping the barf off.

1923 – Biggest in the World, More Assets, More Policyholders, Most Insurance in force.

Sounds like a barroom boast. More hot air!

1936 – Keep Healthy. Be Examined Regularly.

Not set to music, but think about it: if everyone would just keep healthy the life insurance companies would clean up.

1954 – Metropolitan service is as local as Main Street...as close as your phone.

What happened to "Biggest in the World"? Suddenly we're all neighborly.

1959 – The Light That Never Fails.

...and the tagline that never dies. Clearly "close as your phone" had no pull with the Big Guy.

1964 – More choose Metropolitan Life–millions more than any other company.

Back to reassuring hugeness. This line came from two committees, both made of PE majors.

1966 – Protecting 1 out of 5 people in the U.S. and Canada.

1 our of 5, eh. That's 20%. At this point the advertising team reported to Accounting.

1970 – We sell life insurance. But our business is life.

Great. Can I buy another life? Okay... not literally... "life" as in beer and hotdogs.

1973 – Metropolitan Life–where the future is now.

Books on Zen were popular. The past is present, Grasshopper.

1979 – Come to Metropolitan. Simplify your life.

The last year of Carter's presidency, which was just one complication after another.

1985 – Get Met. It Pays.

Now the tagline itself has been simplified. Coming in the next decade: "Work hard. Fly right."

2001 – One of the older hippies was up late and had a vision... met life... met life... that's it! MetLife I'm glad I met ya!.. no, that's not it... Have you Met my wife?... No... You Met your life!... no, hold on... Eventually he got there: "Have you met life today?"

And that brings us to the present.

2011 – Guarantees for the if in life.

Given what came before – More assets! A light that never fails! – I have to give this one grudging approval. It does convey the benefit of life insurance: as back-up in time of life's unpredictable quandaries.

Brandsinger – "Bran for your innards and song for your soul"... no, that's not right... hold it... I've got it... "Brand your singing er else..."... No... wait... just a sec...

Adventures in mis-communication

2011-07-09T14:27:00.000-07:00

The other day I bought a packaged sandwich for lunch in a New York shop. There were many varieties of sandwiches on hand, and the one I selected was terrific – with avocado, boiled eggs and an exotic sauce. Later in the day, after three long meetings and too much arm waving on my part, I returned to the same shop and – why not? – chose the same sandwich.

When I reached the counter, a smiling face greeted me – a dark-skinned man I had seen earlier in the day. I think he had an accent, perhaps West African. As I handed over my credit card, I held up the sandwich and said cheerfully: “I had this same sandwich before. It was great.”

The counter-man frowned. He was willing to serve me but apparently had no idea what I wanted.

“This one. I ate this one already." I said, waving the sandwich. “It was great.”

I took back the credit card while the man stared. His face had “What th-?” written all over it. As I turned away, I realized that, well, this is not literally the same sandwich I had eaten for lunch. I had actually eaten a different one before, made the same way. I peeled back the wrapping and muttered, “…it looked exactly like this sandwich.”

What was in my mind? I had wanted to commend the hard-working staff for making irresistible sandwiches. Perhaps I also felt self-conscious about returning to the same shop and eating the same food. What if this was the same guy who had served me earlier? I don’t want him thinking that I mindlessly chew on the same food over and over like a lab rat conditioned for pellets.

Let’s turn the scene around and look at it from the counter-man's standpoint. What is he thinking? The counter-man is paid by the hour. It’s been a long day. The coffee urn needs to be checked. But something strange is occurring. Right now, in his immediate range of vision – just to the left of the register – is a white man with thinning hair laughing and waving a sandwich that he claims to have already eaten. The man keeps saying, “This sandwich, I already ate this sandwich.”

The counter-man thinks: “I should try not to alarm this guy. I will swipe his card and give him the napkins. There. He is taking the napkins and walking away. But he seems unhappy. I hope he will not tell the boss. I should have helped him unwrap the sandwich and tried to lift the food to his lips.”

My point: We often do not understand the other guy. Perhaps we can never fully understand the other guy. But as professional communicators, we need to try and – with the recognition that we are likely to fail – try very hard to understand and communicate every time we interact with our fellow human beings.

Brandsinger

DSK to America: "Thank you"

2011-07-04T07:40:00.000-07:00

If – in the end – Dominique Strauss-Kahn is not charged with rape and other felonies, and if his cohorts stand him for the presidency of France, then he has a ready-made story-line of heroic personal redemption.

The all-too-obvious story-line would be that U.S. prosecutors treated him brutally, that the media held a bar-b-cue with himself as the roasting pig. He can scold America for barbaric treatment and thank his wife for standing by him. He can add that he respects the historic bond between France and the U.S. and that this ordeal will not color his ability to… blah blah blah…

That would be the obvious story line.

But here’s the opportunity for Strauss-Kahn. “THANK YOU AMERICA”

THANK YOU AMERICA for opening my eyes to my own attitude toward women and my previous demeaning treatment of them.

THANK YOU AMERICA for exposing the vulnerabilities of people in power – and their need to behave with scrupulous respect toward all citizens and toward social conventions.

THANK YOU AMERICA for giving me a tour through the nightmare of incarceration so that I can forever commit myself to the humane treatment of prisoners.

THANK YOU AMERICA for reminding me of my own humanity in the face of state power, thus reviving my personal humility and renewing my commitment to justice.

Such an approach would show depth, imagination and political vision – leading to rousing acclaim and admiration in the U.S. and worldwide.

But don’t bank on hearing this from Mr. Strauss-Kahn, since a) Brandsinger is too irreverent for influence in Paris and b) Strauss-Kahn is probably, just as portrayed in the American media, too arrogant.

brandsinger

Michele Bachmann and John Quincy Adams

2011-07-03T10:32:00.000-07:00

It is amusing – and richly ironic – that Michele Bachmann should mistakenly honor John Quincy Adams by including him among the Founding Fathers. After all, Bachmann herself ain’t no J. Q. Adams.

Rather than revere Adams, Michele Bachmann should invoke Adams’ rival and successor, Andrew Jackson. Bachmann – a fiery populist of our day – is much more a Jackson than an Adams.

Jackson – the champion of frontier populism who trounced John Quincy Adams in 1828 – was not a college graduate, hated banks, scoffed at pretense, welcomed confrontation and, of course, killed a man in a duel. His raucous inauguration party caused Washington socialites to cringe at the drunken, unlettered masses.

John Quincy Adams, on the other hand, was a proper establishment politician – Harvard-educated and articulate – who deplored the Jacksonian crowd. When Jackson was to be given an honorary degree by Harvard, Adams refused to attend Harvard’s “disgrace in conferring her highest literary honors on a barbarian who could not write a sentence of grammar and could hardly spell his own name.”

Jackson supposedly replied that, “It is a damn poor mind which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word.” He would not give his speech in Latin, as was customary, since the only Latin words he knew were E pluribus unum, sine qua non, multum in parvo, quid pro quo, and ne plus ultra.

Throughout U.S. history, politicians from ordinary backgrounds – Lincoln, Sockless Jerry Simpson of the 1880s, Harry Truman and now Bachmann – have suffered ridicule from parties of privilege and power.

Bachmann – who worked her way through college, raised five children, and emerged from the unglamorous dust of school-board fights to win a seat in Congress – had little time to master the details of U.S. History. But she has mastered her understanding of her constituency and has Jackson-like self-confidence and grit.

Personally, I have had a great education and could thrash any candidate when it comes to sorting out the Adamses. I know, for example, that Sam Adams was a revolutionary firebrand of the 1770s… and that Sam Adams is also my favorite brand of beer.

On the other hand, I would not like to stand up to Michelle Bachmann in a debate, no matter how thin her knowledge of history… and though I can recall a couple of lines of Virgil in Latin, I could never have faced Andrew Jackson across 10 paces of stony ground with pistols raised.

brandsinger

Aptly named, tragically confirmed

2011-06-23T08:29:00.000-07:00

I receive daily posts from Alaska (don't ask me why), where life holds perils that most of us never face. In our namby-pamby tri-state areas, skiers are rarely engulfed in avalanches or joggers eaten by wolves.

In Alaska nature looms. Names have a blunt, descriptive power. How about this river where two boaters tragically drowned:

Call me lily-livered. But getting me to venture onto a body of water called Dangerous River would require considerable urging from a Colt .45.

brandsinger

Indiana branding

2011-06-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

Some brands are born, some are made, and some are thrust upon us.

Driving across Indiana on Route 46 you see poignant evidence of commercial strategies.

The barn’s faded sign reads “Mail Pouch Tobacco” – once a household name in rural America. For putting the brand on a barn, a farmer got a few bucks and his barn got a fresh coat of paint.

I follow Indiana 46 across Brown County – passing names of entrepreneurs’ dreams – like Red Bud Storage and Mike’s Dance Barn and Rustic Cove Apts. For drivers seeking refuge, there is Sweetheart Cabin and Salt Creek Inn.

I cross through the village of Gnaw Bone – doubtless a brand story there! – and pass Howlin’ Dog Inn not far from Pleasant Valley Church.

People will say anything to attract customers. They try a play on words, as with The Last Resort. They mix spirituality with show biz – as in Country Gospel Music Church. They show their neighborly lack of pretense – as in Scooter’s Family Restaurant.

When choosing a name and putting out a sign, people try to believe that others will care. They want to entice travelers – and take their money. What is a “yard sale” other than the intersection of one person’s hope for cash and another’s for cheap treasure?

I dodge a turtle crossing the road near the little bridge over Sand Creek. "Sand Creek"! – now there’s a name no one fussed over. No dreams packed into that name, no hope to strike it rich and move away. Sand Creek is just a narrow cut in the sandy soil… with a trickle of water that gave birth to a name.

brandsinger

Hemingway-esque apparatus judges names

2011-05-27T17:43:00.000-07:00

Ernest Hemingway said that, “The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shock-proof, shit detector.” I’m sure you’d agree – and doubtless have come across prose by bad writers that should have been scooped up and heaved into the bushes.

It’s the same with the naming of companies. I declare that the most essential gift for a good naming team is a built-in, shock-proof… well, the same apparatus as for good writers.

Creating a good name is not easy. Just look at what’s coming down the name-production line these days. The aluminum company Alcan – sold by the mining giant Rio Tinto – is now independent and has renamed itself Constellium. How would our Hemingway-inspired naming apparatus judge this one?

A friend and top naming expert wrote me that Constellium is “a little strange… tries too hard… but you can get used to that.” I think he is sympathizing with fellow namers who struggled to replace the catchy Alcan and to match the colorful Rio Tinto. But I ain't sympathetic. Of Constellium I say scoop and toss.

Now here’s a name for you. EMC2… Well, EMC with a little baby 2 up there by the C.

I can’t tell if this is a product name or the corporate name. On the website, the parent seems to be just “EMC” without the little 2. “EMC is a global leader in enabling businesses and service providers to transform their operations" blah blah blah.

To confuse things, there is another company – or is it the same? – that is called Engineering Management Career Consultants and uses the logo E=MC2.

What's going on here? As long as we’re ransacking the history of Western mathematics, why not name a company this:

The funny thing about the EMC (squared) company is that it claims to own EMC2 as a trademark. How do you do that? Can no one use Einstein’s famous revelation without getting sued by “a global leader in enabling businesses and service providers to" blah blah blah?

Just when our Hemingway-esque apparatus is working over-time to detect foul-smelling names, we stumble upon something good in a recent Bloomberg BusinessWeek: Apparently there is a consulting firm in Massachusetts with the disarmingly simple name Exit41.

Let me check the name-judging apparatus. Yep. The print-out says "Exit41 smell like honeysuckle."

brandsinger

Gulf Oil – Unexpectedly contemplative

2011-05-15T10:14:00.000-07:00

While barreling up I-91 last month, I noticed that my tank was low and pulled off at an unfamiliar exit in search of gas. So many stations to choose from... but price dictated that I try the one marked Gulf. Ah yes, Gulf – a brand I knew as a kid in Texas but haven't thought about as an adult among Yankees. Gulf Oil... what do they stand for?

I glanced up from the pump handle and there it was next to the bulging orange logo: "Life... one mile at a time."

Life... one mile at a time... Hmm... Something to think about while I stood there blankly squeezing the lever and watching the dollars stream out of my account. A rich idea, I thought. Open-ended with relevant implications.

"One mile at a time" reminds you of "one day at a time" – the universal mantra of people coping with a chronic challenge. One mile... then another mile... then another... then another... then another... then another... Life itself is a chronic challenge, is it not? One of these miles might bring danger. A bad bump or blow-out. A pink slip. And another one of these miles might bring joy... an unexpected encounter with exhilaration. A new baby.

I decided – standing there at the Gulf pump – that I like this line. I like it not despite the fact that it issued from the jaws of a global oil monster – but because of it. These guys could have bragged about anything – like "beyond petroleum." Instead, they muse, "Let's be open about life. Let's drive along the road from childhood to old age ready for what the highway brings. Let's calm down and take it one mile at a time."

There's pragmatism in this. Fatalism perhaps. Stoicism - but not cynicism. I replaced the pump handle and waved to the dim figure behind the dirty pane of glass... and he waved back.

Now, you may think I'm a sap, and if you prefer something more predictably corporate, then you can certainly have this:

brandsinger

New name for the merged exchanges chosen: DAS KAPITAL

2011-04-10T20:02:00.000-07:00

The pending merger of NYSE Euronext and Deutsche Borse has created a frenzied search for the combined exchange's new name.

Consultants, executives and even U.S. Senators have suggested every ugly combo under the sun – NY-this, DB-that, names with “Global,” names with “Exchange,” names with "X" and names with "Borse."

The obvious choice is staring them in the face – or rather, looming in the depths of German economic analysis and revolutionary thought: Das Kapital

Das Kapital was the title of Marx’s massive analysis of political economy that none of us read – and is not “The Communist Manifesto” which we did read but which would make a lousy name for a stock exchange.

How triumphantly apt to have "Das Kapital" – the seminal critique of capitalism – become the name for the world’s greatest engine of capital investment and exchange.

We at Brandsinger call on investors to rally behind this single best name for the merged exchanges. Any other choice would be a botch – a surrender to parochialism and reactionary thinking.

Das Kapital it must be. Investors of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but bad names!

Brandsinger

Groupon discount on logo designs

2011-04-01T13:03:00.000-07:00

As described on the popular "Brand New" website, our friend Jerry Kuyper, "identity designer with 25 years experience...is offering a fantastic deal on an identity project through Groupon. $10,000 (a $30,000 value!)."

$10,000 for a new graphic identity? That is fantastically affordable... shareholders should be pleased... and the delivered artwork will keep working for years. Clients seeking value should jump at the offer.

Hmmm... Ten grand for a new identity? – witness protection agents take note, too.

brandsinger

Tiger: Go to Japan!

2011-03-23T14:14:00.000-07:00

For years Tiger Woods was an adored hero on the world stage – then in a flash transformed into a coddled celebrity falling down the rat-hole of self-indulgence and ruin.

Since his fall, Tiger has tried to show a humble, human side... and worked on his golf game to regain his winning form.

Is his rep improving? Has the Tiger brand regained value? Well, he has not won a tournament since his Waterloo. Troubled conscience?

But now: Here is a golden opportunity! Tiger is scheduled to go to Japan!

And yet – in a terrible decision! – he canceled the trip – reinforcing the view that Tiger is still a pampered celebrity rather than a humble man of empathy. Brand botch!

My advice to Tiger: Go to Japan and grab a shovel. The world will see you in the best light. You will feel better about yourself – and maybe have the confidence and inner calm to win a tournament for a change.

brandsinger

Naming hospital systems

2011-03-16T10:32:00.001-07:00

Naming hospital systems

How did the Queens-Long Island Medical Group rebrand itself? – as the lovely QLIMG.

How would you re-name the Metropolitan Jewish Health System to reflect the rich diversity of its patients and staff? The chosen “name”: MJHS

What do you call the North Shore-Long Island Jewish Healthcare System? The organization decided to keep the long name – but promote a shortened form “North-Shore LIJ” – this despite the fact that the system has expanded far beyond Long Island and is not exclusively Jewish.

What do you call the group of hospitals in Eastern Connecticut organized into a more integrated network? It’s called ECHN. A current billboard along I-91 shows a happy patient proclaiming, “Thanks ECHN.”

How important is having a cool name? When your service is critically important, you may not need a cool name to be successful. That seems to be the current thinking among hospital systems.

That said, a competitive hospital system does need a name that human beings can say and remember. I predict that these organizations will come around to joining the rest of the human race and create true names, not jumbled letters.

My rule number one: The need for a cool name declines in proportion to the essential nature of the service being offered. It doesn't matter what you call a super-engineered, life-saving cancer drug.

But rule number two is: Broad-based healthcare networks will benefit by ditching the letters and adopting simple, memorable names.

After all, they have to compete for staff, patients and donors. Their clumsy initials suggest a vast, cold bureaucracy, reveal an inward-turning mentality, and insult quaking patients in cheap gowns by expecting them to say and write four ugly capital letters.

What is the value of putting a human name on the door of your hospital system? A simple, human name proclaims that a respectful, caring service begins from the moment you stretch out your hand to introduce yourself.

brandsinger

The Wisdom of Merrill Lynch

2011-03-11T10:49:00.000-08:00

What's this in my in-box? Merrill Lynch has sent me a "RIC Report"? issued by their "Research Investment Committee"?

Hmmm. Interesting. Investment strategies. I should look into this report with all its charts and guidance. I see it's produced by a guy named Michael Hartnett, called "Chief Global Equity Strategist"– probably a real guru.

Yes, I might learn about global investing and find insights into key industries. So... I'll just click the link here... But hey, this is convenient – a one-sentence "synopsis." I'll read it first just to get a flavor...

"Synopsis: Two years after equity market lows, the RIC believes the cyclical bull market in risk assets is incomplete, but in the near term we are cautious until we see a peak in commodity prices."

Okay. That's... completely... meaningless. Based on this synopsis, I bet Mr. Hartnett's committee has never been sued for giving bad advice. "Giving bad advice," after all, implies that the advisor has advice to give and is able to put across an intelligible thought.

brandsinger

NPR – Brand in trouble

2011-03-09T19:08:00.000-08:00

We can add NPR to the list of troubled media brands that includes Blockbuster, AOL, Borders and MySpace. While these others are victims of forces beyond their control – like the ruthless competition from a Netflix or a Facebook – NPR has the distinction of authoring its own problems.

Today, NPR’s CEO resigned her position after one of her lieutenants was caught on tape – between mouthfuls of lunch – maligning segments of his own audience as “seriously racist.” Ah, how easy it is for a foolish senior vice president to let down his guard when tempted by a savory pot pie on a cold March day.

So down goes CEO Vivian Schiller and, with her, her senior vice president – this following the unseating several months ago of an editor who bungled the firing of a respected analyst, Juan Williams (who dared to go on Fox News and express his own views).

These guys are working overtime to run a good brand into the ground. You would think they would at least honor their stewardship of National Public Radio! – but wait. They actually monkeyed with the name itself. Last year they replaced the dignified, republican-sounding "National Public Radio" with the mundane, bland initials “NPR.”

Think about that. Replacing “National Public Radio” with “NPR” is like replacing the name Lady Gaga with LG. It’s like turning John Wayne back into Marion Robert Morrison – and star him in the Western classic Courageous River (formerly “Rio Bravo”).

Look, the central problem at NPR is that leaders have lost sight of what the brand stands for. It’s not a bastion of political correctness – it’s not a private club for anti-tea-partiers to pass judgment on conservative voters who prevailed in the last election and are among the taxpayers dragooned into supporting NPR.

Months ago NPR could have highlighted Juan Williams as an example of diversity of views and voices. Instead they fired him for not toeing the line. Talk about strategically inept.

NPR is actually National Public Radio – a beautiful concept in its day. It promised open airways and thoughtful content for the enlightenment and entertainment of all Americans. These days the organization has sunk to petty partisanship, and the brand reveals a mean spirit. Time for a radical repositioning.

brandsinger

Melville's liberal education

2011-03-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

A postscript to my potshots at the high valuation placed on book-learning at an expensive college: For professional and personal reasons I'm reading Moby Dick – and just came upon this passage – Melville's advocacy of learning by doing:

As for me, if, by any possibility, there be any as yet undiscovered prime thing in me;...if hereafter I shall do anything that, upon the whole, a man might rather have done than to have left undone; if, at my death, my executors, or more properly my creditors, find any precious MSS. in my desk, then here I prospectively ascribe all the honour and the glory to whaling; for a whale-ship was my Yale College and my Harvard.

A whale-ship was my Yale College and my Harvard! By luck, I stumbled upon this picture of Melville in a freshman seminar at Harvard:

Let's write it once more: "A whale-ship was my Yale College and my Harvard."

Mark it well ye applicants to college – and those who wind up paying!

brandsinger

Is Spring a brand?

2011-03-07T16:23:00.001-08:00

Hey, what's that yellow on the trees? Where did that come from? And those red tips. Were they here yesterday?

Tick tock… You can feel it coming.

The dirt is moving down there. And that sun – it rose up earlier today, and it will be out even earlier tomorrow, I bet. What are you planning to do with all that extra light!?

Spring has its own tempo. Slow… then not so slow… then really fast.

Snow has changed to water trickling along in the yellow beams… now rushing somewhere while you sit around looking unproductive.

Hey! (That’s the brand voice of spring – it’s a shout.) Hey, pal! (Spring calls you “pal.”) You better get moving. You better step it up, pal. The dirt is alive under your own feet.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Spring is coming. Fast.

Brandsinger

Sewanee and the value of higher education

2011-03-02T18:50:00.001-08:00

If you consider Steve Jobs (college dropout), Warren Buffett (Univ. of Nebraska), and Sarah Palin, youngest person ever to be elected governor of Alaska (Univ. of Idaho), you might wonder about the value of an expensive undergraduate education. It’s hard to imagine these talented, charismatic leaders being any more successful if they had gone to Yale. Would the iPad be any thinner if Jobs had stayed in college? Probably never been invented.

On a personal note: I did stick it out for four full years at the very college Jobs abandoned. Would I have been better off leaving early as he did? Okay, never mind. Don't imagine my life as a drop-out. Professional kite flier at 19. Extended disability at 22. Card dealer at 40. Magazine distributor at 41. Speechwriter for Senator Harry Reid at 42. It would have been a grim trajectory.

Fact is, I often look back on the years I plodded up the rungs of higher education – all the while dulling my mind and perfecting my jump-shot – as time that would have been better spent in, say, an Oregon cannery. At least there I would have had time to choose what I needed to learn rather than be told what I had to study. Glory be to the cultural heritage of Western Civilization! – but exposing me at 18 to a book by Emmanuel Kant was like putting a Stradivarius in the hands of the Three Stooges.

It’s boorish to deny the worth of liberal arts study. But here’s the question – at what price? Today – in whispers and in shouts – Americans are questioning the value of a four-year term at an esteemed, high-priced college. It’s worth something, sure. But how much? And how much compared with what’s offered at Brand X College?

The University of the South – known as Sewanee – is an exclusive, high-priced liberal arts college that recently made national headlines: It lowered next year’s tuition by ten percent, knocking about 4500 bucks off the cost of a year’s study. Instantly Sewanee became more accessible to some families – and more price-competitive than similar colleges.

Malcolm Gladwell – author of Blink – just ranked the nation’s top law schools and produced this: 1: Chicago 2: BYU 3: Harvard 4: Yale 5: Texas 6: Virginia 7: Colorado 8: Alabama

Gladwell’s methodology was eccentric but logical: He took into account something USA Today never considers: price. For the price, says Gladwell, you get a better deal at BYU Law School than you do at Harvard or Yale.

Does this methodology factor in the brand value of an Ivy League name? If BYU grads wind up in good law firms for less money – then I suppose it does.

Brandsinger

Gauging the impact of "The"

2011-02-21T08:38:00.000-08:00

Jeff Lapatine, our friend and former colleague at Siegel+Gale, muses on the value of the word "The" in names.

Jeff's excellent blog-post is on the S+G site here: http://www.siegelgale.com/blog/what-the/

Jeff points out that "the" sometimes enhances and ennobles a name – as in "The Hartford" or "The Lone Ranger" – and other times clutters up a name – as in "The Facebook" or "The Superman" – which was the Man of Steel's original title.

When I started at Chase Manhattan, the old-timers called it "The Chase..." and similarly at Aetna in the 1990s the old-timers called it "The Aetna." Over time these institutions dropped the "The" and became just "Chase" and "Aetna" to bow to modernity and to proclaim their iconic stature.

"The" is a small, inconsequential word – but as Jeff explains, its inclusion in a name is a big, significant decision.

The Brandsinger

Tear gas "Made in USA"

2011-01-29T13:45:00.000-08:00

Is being gassed by a US-backed regime a "brand touchpoint"? For the one being served, it's certainly a bad "brand experience."

A colleague wonders about the impact of "Made in U.S.A." tear gas canisters fired at anti-government demonstrators in Egypt. He suggests that these exported canisters used against civilians damage America's brand.

Let's agree that it doesn't help. Tear gas – whatever the provenance – stings like hell. Weapons from any country of origin are hated by those they are used against.

At the same time, the association of the US with the current government of Egypt is well known. Presumably bags of grain enter the country stamped "U.S.A." – and movies, commercial jets and other exports reflect economic ties between the two nations.

The fact is, America's brand image in the Middle East is the product of a complex web of factors – historical and current, economic and military, local and geo-political. The fact that a company in Pennsylvania makes and exports tear gas does not help Brand U.S.A. But the label "Made in U.S.A." is stamped on every jet plane we export and implied in every speech our leaders make.

Our brand is seared into the minds of our enemies and friends. That we make tear gas as well as gasoline is part of our projected, paradoxical image of brutal violence and noble values.

brandsinger

GE ad expresses intoxi-gination

2011-01-28T18:25:00.000-08:00

You might suspect that concern for the environment has slipped a few rungs on GE's corporate agenda. I'm guessing that – to get this "eco-magination" ad designed – a government affairs officer asked a third grader for a concept – but because the third-grader's concept was too profound and engaging, the government affairs officer decided to have a few glasses of Chardonnay and come up with the design after work while watching Home Shopping Network. So the resulting concept was, "Let's take a picture of a jet engine and paste yellow flower pedals around it, okay? That says something about ecology, right? Ecology is a very important subject here at our corporate company where I work at."

"...and I just thought of this... We could add a bee in there flying around the engine... you know, off to the side."

brandsinger

American Hero

2011-01-17T09:00:00.000-08:00

We admire effective writers. We thrill to the power of charismatic speakers. We follow visionary thinkers. We mourn murdered leaders.

From the August 28, 1963 speech at the Lincoln Memorial… These soaring words were part of King's thunderous conclusion:

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring." And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania! Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado! Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California! But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia! Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee! Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

Complete text is here:

http://www.writespirit.net/inspirational_talks/political/martin_luther_king_talks/lincoln_memorial_address/

Was this a "great speech"? Was it "well crafted"? Do you wish you could write like this? Well, it was not just a speech. It is not just a piece of writing. This was a man in action and the cause he embodied. The speech was war for justice. The man was the speech. The speech was the man.

Brandsinger

Imposing civility on political discourse

2011-01-16T19:00:00.000-08:00

In reaction to the attack on Congresswoman Giffords, many people are pleading for more civility in political discourse. Representative Bob Brady wants to make it a federal crime to use language or symbols that could be perceived as threatening or inciting violence against a federal official or member of Congress.

If those calling for toned-down rhetoric are drafting new legislation, I could save them some time. They need only adopt language from this text, which was written some time ago and passed into law:

SECT. 2. And be it further enacted, That if any person shall write, print, utter, or publish, or shall cause or procure to be written, printed, uttered, or published, or shall knowingly and willingly assist or aid in writing, printing, uttering, or publishing any false, scandalous and malicious writing or writings against the government of the United States, or either House of the Congress of the United States, or the President of the United States, with intent to defame the said government, or either House of the said Congress, or the said President, or to bring them, or either of them, into contempt or disrepute; or to excite against them, or either or any of them, the hatred of the good people of the United States...then such person, being thereof convicted before any court of the United States having jurisdiction thereof, shall be punished by a fine not exceeding two thousand dollars, and by imprisonment not exceeding two years.

Pretty close to what the civilizers of political debate want, wouldn't you say?

The law herein described was passed in 1798 during the administration of John Adams. It was called the Sedition Act, and by its authority citizens were convicted and tossed into prison.

Thomas Jefferson and his party fiercely opposed it, of course. The Sedition Act was allowed to expire in 1801 when Jefferson became President, and has generally been branded a notorious affront to democratic institutions.

While sitting as President in 1804, Jefferson wrote to Abigail Adams this denunciation: "I discharged [i.e. pardoned] every person under punishment or prosecution under the Sedition law, because I considered and now consider that law to be a nullity as absolute and as palpable as if Congress had ordered us to fall down and worship a gold image."

Those seeking to outlaw over-heated debate would do well to look deep into our history (or only as far back as the 1960s – or the recent Bush Administration). They would find that hot, highly uncivil rhetoric accompanies our democracy at every turn. They might pause before trying to tame angry expressions by legal means lest they find themselves regarded with the same disfavor as the party of John Adams – which, a few years after passing the Sedition Act, became extinct.

brandsinger

When a committee edits your work

2011-01-06T09:59:00.000-08:00

When members of the Continental Congress – 1776 – picked away at Jefferson's draft of the Declaration of Independence, Jefferson received kindly advice from the veteran writer Benjamin Franklin. Franklin told Jefferson that it's always frustrating to have others edit your work. He backed up his advice with this example:

"I have made a rule, whenever in my power, to avoid becoming the draughtsman of papers to be reviewed by a public body. I took my lesson from an incident which I will relate to you. When I was a journeyman printer, one of my companions, an apprentice hatter, having served out his time, was about to open shop for himself. His first concern was to have a handsome signboard, with a proper inscription. He composed it in these words, 'John Thompson, Hatter, makes and sells hats for ready money,' with a figure of a hat subjoined. But thought he would submit it to his friends for their amendments.

The first he showed it to thought the word 'Hatter' tautologous, because followed by the words 'makes hats,' which showed he was a hatter. It was struck out. The next observed that the word 'makes' might as well be omitted, because his customers would not care who made the hats. If good and to their mind, they would buy them, by whomsoever made. He struck it out.

A third said he thought the words 'for ready money' were useless, as it was not the custom of the place to sell on credit. Every one who purchased expected to pay. They were parted with, and the inscription now stood, 'John Thompson sells hats.' 'Sells hats!' says the next friend. 'Why, nobody will expect you to give them away. What then is the use of that word?' It was stricken out, and 'hats' followed it, the rather as there was one painted on the board.

So the inscription was reduced ultimately to 'John Thompson,' with the figure of a hat subjoined."

Lesson for present-day communicators? Whoever you are – John Thompson the young hat maker or Tom Jefferson the proclaimer of national independence – you can always, always expect other people to change your words.

brandsinger

How to brand your diphenhydramine

2010-12-27T16:05:00.000-08:00

Challenge: Okay brand strategists, you've got a proven pharmaceutical compound – diphenhydramine – and you want to cut in on Benadryl's market share.

What do you call your discount version?

Answer: Everyone has a little twist of their own.

1 CVS doesn’t get cute. It uses its own CVS brand and labels its diphenhydramine with a big “ALLERGY” in italics and capital letters, just like the Benadryl package.

2 The most familiar brand is Benadryl – here fending off discounters with 12 free tablets. Benedryl is more expensive, and unlike the Walgreens house version, contains a long list of inactive ingredients: candelilla wax, crospovidone, dibasic calcium phosphate dihydrate, D&C red dye no. 27, aluminum lake, hypromellose, magnesium stearate, microcrystalline cellulose, polyethelene glycol, polysorbate 80, pregelatinized starch, stearic acid, and titanium dioxide. No wonder this is the high-priced brand.

3 Walgreens has a shameless chameleon called “Wal-dryl” – a clumsy but effective combo of its name with Benedryl's. It has the check-marks next to symptoms, but note: Like a school-kid disguising plagiarism, the checked symptoms are in a different order. Runny nose first, sneezing third. Also, “Wal-dryl” has fewer ingredients – which is turned into a benefit: “DYE-FREE”

4 Wegmans has an interesting approach. It offers this “Top Care” brand – which is used by non-Wegmans stores as well. The Top Care package – with its brand slung up along the left side – looks like a cheap, value brand – which is the point.

5 For its diphenhydramine, Walmart uses its own sub-brand called “equate” (equate, get it?) Symptoms with check marks are on the box – and in the Benadryl order! The package has nauseating circles and wavy lines – probably giving customers a reason to buy something for their stomachs.

6 Rite-Aid’s diphenhydramine has the discount look down pat. When they designed this package, Rite-Aid must have hired the same guys who pick their in-store music: “Just stack all the words down the middle, paint the thing hospital-wall pink, and call it a day.”

What's the point? I don't care what they call it, as long as diphenhydramine is handy when those damned yellow jackets attack me again.

brandsinger

North Korea as brand – Sex, violence, collective will

2010-12-20T09:05:00.000-08:00

We've spoken here of sovereign brands – the widely accepted promise and personality of nations. At worst, a nation's brand image is a crude stereotype – "Man, those French are rude." At best, it projects a distinctive feature of a nation's role in the global economy – "The resourcefulness of today's India and the paradoxical adaptability of its ancient culture."

North Korea as brand

North Korea appears as stunning caricature. It is the world's consummate "rogue state" – acting beyond all behavioral norms. As a brand, North Korea is endlessly fascinating: It is so well focused, so "brand aligned" in every eccentric act and utterance.

North Korea is a model of brand discipline. Its "brand ambassadors" are perfectly unified. Its "brand experience" is admirably consistent. Its communications "cut through the clutter."

Brand personality

What captivates our attention? The brand personality: A continual threat of violence, the shocking display of collective will, and the unmistakable, riveting undertone of sex.

North Korean brand? Sex, violence, collective will.

Think: blockbuster TV show.

brandsinger

Is Winter a brand?

2010-12-18T15:27:00.000-08:00

Winter has a temper, but most of the time winter does not rage. Most of the time winter is deliberate and under control. It settles in around you – and holds your world in an iron grip.

People who live in bitterly cold places – like Norway or Vermont – have to be organized. Winter doesn’t allow extra time for flipping through a magazine or looking for your flip-flops. You better have the wood stacked nearby. You must be ready.

Alaskans know that you don’t fool around with winter – oh no. Charge outside into the magically dancing flakes – and after a time you might be looking for two or three toes.

Winter grips and squeezes you. If winter is a brand, it offers the promise of a strong handshake. Its brand personality is confidence and purpose. Its essence is bite.

And winter’s brand experience? Well, that’s up to you. Some people fight winter. Others meet its heavy hand by going to sleep.

But no matter who you are... or what you do... no one escapes the feeling that winter is in charge, not you.

brandsinger

Brand voice of a brand new business school

2010-12-15T18:58:00.000-08:00

Marketing an institution of higher education is a dreary business. The brand messages tend to run together into one platitudinous blob. "Find yourself at our university..." "Free yourself..." "Be yourself..." "Transform yourself..." People who produce this stuff for a living have my sympathy. I'm sure they crave the opportunity, once in a while, to sell a good vegetable chopper. At least a chopper has an edge and does unquestionable good.

Universities themselves can be dreary places – which is behind the marketer's malaise. Institutions of higher education are expensive, slow to change, and filled with tenured professionals. Tenure itself is an odd anachronism. Just sit there untouched no matter how you perform? Like an earl or duke in the Middle Ages? "Unfortunately, we don't have capital punishment," a professor once told me with a sigh. We were discussing one of his particularly out-of-control (and tenured) colleagues.

A few days ago I ran across this ad for a business school. It made me think. What is this place? How is it different? I looked it up. A nearly brand new business school at Johns Hopkins, founded in 2007 – devoted to teaching business "with humanity in mind." Sounds visionary? Idealistic? Something intriguing about "repurposing the traditional business school toolkit to reflect our principles of humanity, compassion, innovation, and opportunity."

The Johns Hopkins Carey Business School is only a couple of years old. Let's set aside our skepticism – and wish these guys well. There is a wise, understated tone in their brand – yet the words are high-minded. Hats off to their marketing team. In a time of bluster and brag, people who photograph a few seeds and promise to help you plant them deserve our respect.

brandsinger

Those wacky elephants

2010-12-02T09:40:00.000-08:00

When I saw Accenture's surfing elephant – suggesting that big companies can be nimble – I was reminded of an ad by the law firm Bingham McCutchen – suggesting that creativity leads to solutions. Then other wacky elephant images came to mind...

So what's my point? I don't know, really. An elephant olympics? My point...? Something about the iconic attributes of elephants. It was... actually, I can't... remember.

brandsinger

Missing Tiger, dissing elephant

2010-11-29T06:48:00.000-08:00

And now for sports: One of the year's most entertaining moves was Accenture's yanking of Tiger Woods as brand ambassador and substituting a surfing elephant. It was like taking the bat away from Babe Ruth and giving it to Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

We know why Tiger was canned, of course. Public disgrace is always the looming danger of letting a mortal celebrity become intertwined with a brand identity. What could have happened did happen.

Ah, but picking a surfing elephant to replace Tiger was a declaration of surrender. Kiss elegant art direction goodbye. No more ingenious analogies to the salient dimensions of business strategy. Now it's slapstick – a goofy elephant catching waves. Being "nimble."

Such a drastic deviation for the brand... such a change in brand voice... and such a forlorn attempt to pick up the pieces. Accenture surely knows what it takes to be a Tiger.

brandsinger

Tell me your brand story, o hausfrau

2010-11-26T14:05:00.000-08:00

The "brand story" is such a compelling concept. It's all the rage. To translate a complex proposition into a charming story – perhaps for nap time? – is now thought to be the key to success.

Stories work, yes. They dramatize, convey and explain.

What does your daddy do? My son, when young, once told his teacher what I did for a living: "He types and sends in bills." True, but not much of a story. What if the boy had dressed it up a bit: "My dad used to be an aimless gym rat... skipping around plodding white guys... exposing his nose to every street kid's elbow. One sunny day, he stumbled on the concept of brand... and his life began to make sense..." Maybe "types and sends in bills" does a better job.

Here's a fellow named Mark Thomson writing for BrandChannel in 2004:

I came to branding from Anthropology, armed with the understanding that one of the primary ways we make sense of our world and our place in it, is through stories. The same is true of brands. Brands are the stories that unite us all in a common purpose within an enterprise, and connect us with the people we serve on the outside. These brand stories give meaning to who we are and what we do.

Eloquent. So the brand is the story and the story gives meaning to the brand. According to linguist George Lakoff and other bitter academics, the nutty conservatives are better story-tellers than liberals – and hence more potent vote-getters.

Today, everyone with something to sell tells stories. In fact, marketers now want you to tell stories about them! We have reached the logical end-point where everything in life has a story... every purchase... every decision... and according to Whole Foods, every dinner.

Okay - here we go... "Story of my dinner: Dusk... that magical, threatening time... The angry fingerlings lounged in my bowl, daring me to finger them..."

No. The story of my dinner will not be shared tonight. It would be a tale told by an idiot, full of salt and pepper, signifying nothing.

brandsinger

Clothes don't make the man

2010-11-24T06:43:00.000-08:00

You have to feel sorry for the people of South Korea. They live under the shadow of a fanatical aggressor to the north. They are pushed around and provoked. How do you stand up to a bully?

Projecting a firm, confident attitude is part of the answer, as demonstrated by President Lee Myung-bak. After the North Korean bombardment of a remote South Korean island, President Lee appeared with his war chiefs... wearing a black leather – leatherette? – tough-guy jacket.

Ah but it's hard to conceal that Lee is a former student body president, CEO of a major corporation, and mayor of Seoul. "Dock worker" or "marine sniper" is not in his resume.

As successful politician, this is Lee's usual attire...

It's obvious which outfit suits the man. (Was the leather jacket hastily borrowed from a larger fellow? Perhaps Lee's driver?)

What we see is important. Outside reflects the inside. But donning a costume – or changing a logo and tag-line – can only have intended impact if backed up by ACTION.

brandsinger

He doth offer fealty to Sir Panera Bread

2010-11-15T11:53:00.000-08:00

“Loyalty programs” are so named because companies want to be honored with our lasting patronage. In return, they grant us points toward discounts and gifts.

The relationship is charmingly feudal. I swear loyalty to Lord Staples by signing up for his rewards. A brisk but moving ceremony at the cash register – smiles, congratulations – is followed by welcoming salutations in my in-box.

Then one day, Lord Staples finds himself under siege from the grasping Earl of Office Depot. Lord Staples sends out a call for my dollars. I saddle up my war-car and muster with other customers to pay homage at Lord Staples’ big, boxy castle. I faithfully deploy my dollars in his behalf… and ride home – battered – lugging a box of paper and other spoils of war.

At some later date, Lord Staples grants me a free pen and a promise of future favors.

That’s how loyalty programs work.

Banks, restaurants, hotels, airlines – all promote such feudal arrangements. My objection is to their sheer complexity – also feudal. Am I exempt from service at harvest time? Do I owe Lord Staples my daughter for a few nights (or knights)? Does he get his third of my wheat before or after I beat it against the rocks?

With the Duke of Delta (here illustrated), the program has the typical complexities.

Note this handsome ad for the Duke of Delta’s pact. Great graphics – but such confusing terminology! “SkyMiles program”… “rollover elite miles”… “Medallion qualification level”…. “the new Diamond Medallion tier.”

Tough to figure out. I worry that, if I swear allegiance to the Duke of Delta, I might unwittingly be ceding over a beloved pet – or even a cherry tree – in exchange for one of these "medallions."

brandsinger

Feedback frenzy

2010-11-06T05:23:00.001-07:00

Who are we? What have we become? To brand managers, we are empty souls craving to be engaged, members of a “segment” seeking a more perfect “experience.”

View, click, buy, touch – whatever you do produces a cheerful call for comments. To provide “feedback.” To share your experience with other customers and would-be customers – and to ponder other customers’ feedback.

People who sell stuff think that our lives are so empty that we care about everything they do. That we will voluntarily enter their realm. That we want a relationship with them. That our shopping experience dominates our consciousness.

We live in an era of feedback frenzy. (click on the picture)

Think of human purpose as it once was – scraping roots from the soil and hewing villages out of forests – and is today for millions of people fighting for their lives against desperate odds.

Now consider what we have become... that you – a person with a past and future, who works with human beings and exists in the natural world – are asked to extract energy and breath from the fleeting moments of your life – to express your feelings toward a stapler.

Yes, it has come to this. Brand marketing principles demand it. Best practices require that nicely-smelling men and women sit around a conference table and scheme to suck you into their tribe as a loyal member.

Please review our stapler! Compact? Easy to use? No jams?

Well, no mas. I don’t care how valuable the data is, how polite the request – I’m not giving up any more of my data. No matter how fortifying it is to my self-esteem, I refuse to submit my reflections on the functioning of the stapler.

From now on, I'm not telling. If I buy an avocado and it’s rich and creamy inside and a charming woman with a clipboard comes up and asks me to describe my shopping experience, I’ll call the cops. No marketer is getting any more of my life and soul.

brandsinger

One more thing: I wonder if they could make staples out of multi-colored wire? That would be fun. They could try to muffle the clicking sound… Oh, about that hinge…

Too many taglines?

2010-11-02T16:52:00.000-07:00

A client of mine blurted out in frustration – “There are too many taglines!”

I was dumbstruck. How can there be too many taglines? It’s unthinkable. Can you have too many raspberries in your bowl or too many snow-capped mountains in your view?

Taglines are glorious – good ones are. They are nuggets of communicative gold. They are icing without the dry cake. Taglines are like mosquitoes gleefully smashed against the garage door.

"Too many taglines"? That’s like complaining of too many naked women running around the parking lot.

Taglines are the shiny championship belts that pro wrestlers wave in their opponents' faces. Taglines are red maples in a forest of blah evergreens.

When you need to build a robust new brand, you need all the tools in your kit. Don’t forget your tagline. Might as well leave behind your name and advertising budget. No, I say, the more taglines the better.

Robinson Pest Control – Drive Safely and Leave the Killing to Us

InfoShred. Don’t regret it – Shred it!

Local Rockport barber: We repair home-made haircuts

Great taglines reside with enduring adages – like golfer Gary Player’s “The harder you practice the luckier you get.” Great taglines are like classic NBA nicknames – Marvin "Bad News" Barnes... and Marvin "the Human Eraser" Webster.

Great taglines are delights of which surfeit there can never be. And by the way: I make 'em and sell ‘em myself.

brandsinger

Juan Williams: Fired for the sake of brand purity

2010-10-22T08:41:00.000-07:00

To survive, big media networks like Fox and NPR need viewers/listeners and sponsors/donors. Just like Samsung or Playskool, they need loyal followers who always get the brand experience they want.

Because Fox and NPR are in crowded media markets, they strive for brand distinctiveness. They don't want to wind up like the major legacy networks – ABC, CBS, NBC – as declining behemoths lumped together in an undifferentiated blob. They need to be recognizably different.

Fox, for sure, has built a distinctive brand experience – populist, hard-hitting, opinionated. It is enormously successful because of it. The people at Fox understand branding and strive for that certain Fox experience every time people tune in. You would not expect late Beethoven quartets on Fox – heck, not even Ravel's Bolero.

NPR has a brand too – liberal-minded, cultured, thoughtful – "not yelling," as they remind us at contribution time. You would not expect Hank Williams Jr. belting out the theme to Monday Night Football on NPR – except to prompt listeners to smile at those childish masses who must have their fun. Now back to the special report on soil erosion in Malaysia – in-depth.

For NPR and Fox, on-air personalities are products, and products must reflect and reinforce the parent brand. NPR's recent firing of Juan Williams [His reply here: http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2010/10/21/juan-williams-npr-fired-truth-muslim-garb-airplane-oreilly-ellen-weiss-bush/] is a perfect example of NPR getting its brand in order – defining it more precisely. For the NPR brand, Juan Williams is too open-minded (vs. liberal-minded), too independent (vs. politically correct), too candid (vs. expectedly in line) too anomalous (an African-American intellectual who chats amicably with right-wingers).

Juan Williams – a lively, passionate, open-minded, creative, entertaining, unpretentious journalist – does not fit the NPR brand. For the sake of brand consistency, NPR did the right thing.

brandsinger

The New Yorker covers of our age

2010-10-21T15:58:00.001-07:00

The artistic happenings on Google's home page (here marking the anniversary of the great Dizzie Gillespie) have become the digital equivalent of the old New Yorker magazine covers – topical, surprising, marveled at.

How can something so utilitarian (a search engine) be so pleasing to the eye? Pre-historic people carved decorations on their weapons and painted scenes of daily life on earthen pots. Whatever is valued for productive use is a fair canvas for human expression.

Best of all – as noted here before – Google boogies with its logo, not entombs it in rules.

brandsinger

The French brand

2010-10-19T11:42:00.001-07:00

Many years ago I was picked up and tossed into a French prison for the night along with thousands of native students. It was a time of riots and running street battles with the "CRS" – which is a kind of national militia used to bloody youngsters whenever the need arises.

And today? Riots, running street battles with the CRS... Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose. Yes the French love revolution but hate change. Yesterday the issue was... um... something about the French curriculum? Boring lectures? I was there... I heard the harangues... I chanted the chants ("SS CRS, SS CRS" – that was to shame the riot police. "On veut faire pee-pee" – that was for when you were behind bars)... but I've forgotten the issue.

Today, the issue is retirement age. Not 60 any more but 62, or so the government proposes and the rioters oppose. Is that really the issue? Teenagers don't take to the streets over retirement issues. Sorry, they don't. But they do run riot to piss off authority, vent their rage at repressive society... and to show that thy crave ch... uh... or rather that they oppose change.

Perhaps French kids believe like everyone else that the French are snotty and repressed. What is the French brand? Rioting against retiring at 62. In other words, French-ness is being defined by angry kids who scream and cry because decades from now they might have to work an extra two years before they receive their free croissants and fraisse.

Tell this to the world of working people – to the families of, for example, Chilean miners. Grandfathers risking their lives in the mines. Viva Chile! There's a brand in ascendancy.

And the French? Well-off children running in the streets while the hired sons of working people crack their skulls. Plus ca change...

brandsinger

Sticking it to the Anglo-Saxons

2010-10-12T10:49:00.000-07:00

"Non a la vie low cost" – must be le nouveau credo national – replacing Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité.

Ces mecs pensent que they're sticking it to the Anglo Saxon work ethnic.

En fait, they're nous supplying avec a poetic rationalization for treating ourselves to un verre de good Australian Shiraz.

Non a la vie low cost? How about this: Non a la belle langue polluted by Slanglais.

brandsinger

Brandsinger anthem

2010-09-17T11:01:00.001-07:00

Not many folks know that Brandsinger, the Brandsinger team, and our clients and colleagues have an anthem. This theme song captures our philosophy and stand-up style. Here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rImQZ8euKok

So listen up. Whatever you do – brand strategy, creative design, public affairs, product naming, brand architecture, executive workshops, business writing or any and all other forms of communicating – heed the wisdom and spirit of the Watts 103rd St. Rhythm Band.

'press yourself.

brandsinger

Creating the classic image ad

2010-09-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

You've heard people lament that something is a "lost art" – for example fist-fighting, lately replaced by shoot-outs. Another lost art is graciously receiving neighbors who drop in while you are screaming.

But one art has not been lost – spending gobs of money for beauteous image ads in The Economist. (...the magazine that casts grubby profit-seeking in the voice of a witty Englishman.)

Corporate image advertising follows certain conventions (listed below with the ad for the mining company Vale). One key is to open with a blunt, brave-sounding statement like this: "Just like you, we're inquisitive. We question things. Always asking ourselves: What will tomorrow bring?" Then the image ad moves to predictable claims ("We use innovative technology") until you reach a thundering conclusion, in this case a veiled threat: "Vale. There is no future without mining."

This particular ad copy is partly written on light background so that it can't be read... probably because everyone agreed that it's so boring ("We're also present in forests") and so trite ("We don't have all the answers") that no one cares whether readers can make out the words. The main purpose of image advertising, after all, is to spend gobs of money in The Economist to appear in the company of witty Englishmen.

brandsinger

Of Architect Brands and 9/11

2010-09-12T07:37:00.000-07:00

It’s curious how brand names come to mind even in the most profound of reveries.

I was in Manhattan yesterday on the anniversary of the attacks of 9/11. It was a September day as sunny and beautiful as the one on September 11, 2001, and I paused in Bryant Park to read the New York Times’ advice on “the right way to remember 9/11.” http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/11/opinion/11sat1.html?scp=1&sq=the%20right%20way%20to%20remember&st=cse

Surely the Times, of all voices, would have it “right.” And here’s what I was instructed:

Nine years after terrorists destroyed the World Trade Center, a memorial and a transportation hub are taking recognizable shape and skyscrapers are finally starting to rise from the ashes of ground zero. The physical rebirth is cause for celebration on this anniversary.
This is a far more fitting way to defy the hate-filled extremists who attacked the United States on Sept. 11, 2001 and to honor their victims, than to wallow in the intolerance and fear that have mushroomed across the nation.

Then, with a slam at “bigotry" nurtured by people in positions of power “including prominent members of the Republican Party,” the parade of celebrity architects began:

“Michael Arad’s emerging memorial”…. a skyscraper taking shape “by the Japanese architect Fumihiko Maki”… “the first outlines of Santiago Calatrava’s elegant PATH station are visible”… followed by compliments to Mayor Bloomberg for exerting his “considerable muscle to make sure the memorial is finished by 2011.”

It’s amazing how bloodless and cement-focused the editorial is. The only passion is directed against Republicans and “politicians – mostly on the right – fanning the public controversy over plans to build an Islamic community center.”

Strange how – on the ninth anniversary of fellow New Yorkers jumping to their deaths from 100-story buildings – the “right way” to remember the attacks is by reciting the names of big-brand-name architects and sniping at politicians you don’t like.

Is that the “right” way? As I sat in Bryant Park yesterday on a brilliant September 11th, the brands that came to my mind were Boeing, American Airlines, United, FDNY, NYPD, and Cantor Fitzgerald, the financial firm located on the 101^st to 105^th floors of One World Trade Center, which lost 658 employees in the attacks launched not by right-wing bigots and not defended against by brand-name architects.

brandsinger

Thank you Drake University brand

2010-09-07T06:33:00.000-07:00

Amid the pompous claims and skyrocketing fees of higher education, Drake University has launched a new campaign based on appreciation for modesty. The University is taking serious flak for proclaiming its value under the refreshingly realistic theme "D+." Full story is here: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/campus-overload/2010/09/drake_brands_itself_as_a_d.html

Hey Drake admissions staff - bravo! I know you are being ridiculed. I know people think, well, why not strive for a C+. But here at Brandsinger, we dig honesty. We love humility. We agree that not every person or institution merits a C+.

So D+ it is! And in fact, D+ to all of higher education while we're at it:

D+ for political correctness on campus that has squelched honest debate of political and social issues.
D+ to the for-profit degree-mills that take students' money and prepare them for unemployment.

D+ to the professors slogging through the unending books of Dante without any discernible relevance and rationale other than their own adoration of The Classics.
D+ to academic posturing, classes based on instructors' hobbies, and monographs no one can understand but the two grad students who did the research.
D+ to sprawling campuses, multimillion-dollar salaries for coaches, plush student unions and higher-than-inflation-rate tuition fees.
D+ to tenure for professors while the rest of us slobs kowtow to bosses, clients and boards of directors.
And D+ to the mean professor I had who, under the guise of being hip, led me to believe he wouldn't fail me if I skipped the mid-term paper.

Thank you Drake University for telling it like it is!

Brandsinger believes in honesty. Our motto is, "To thine own self be true." When I engage 30 students this fall in my NYU grad course in Strategic Communications, I'll be facing the toughest graders on earth: Students

brandsinger

Thank you Jeepsters

2010-08-22T05:23:00.000-07:00

It's easy to write a good tagline. C'mon, you know it is. We self-proclaimed creative people charge a lot for a tagline. But writing a good one is easy. I could write one right now. In fact I just did – "Write one right now" – perfect for a bill collector urging people to make out a check. Or how about this for a tagline: "How about this!" – for a company proclaiming its innovativeness. Much better than saying, "We're innovative." No doubt about it, a good line for an innovator is: "How about this!"

But if writing a good tagline is easy, writing a bad tagline is hard. I bet you would panic if someone demanded that you write a bad tagline or else roll around in poison ivy.

"C'mon, write a bad tagline, pal! You have thirty seconds!"

"Please, no... I can't write a bad tagline... It's too hard... I'm allergic to poison ivy... I, I can't... Okay, how about this... We l-l-love our... We love our love. How's that? That's bad, right? We love our love? It's ridiculous. No one can call that a tagline – not even an idiot. Can I go now?"

"Hmm... 'We love our love'... That's pretty catchy. We love our love. It's crisp, cryptic, caring. Into the poison ivy, loser!"

Yes, writing a bad tagline is hard. Standards are low (e.g. Check out the Wall Street Journal: live in the know). Just about any combination of words would work. There, I've done it again. Another tagline: "Words would work... But we prefer the work itself."

It's in the nature of taglining that people forgive inane tangles of syllables if there is a modicum of implied meaning.

But as you may know, people at Chrysler – the owners of Jeep and now servants of Fiat – have done it: They've publicized a tagline so toxic that if you ground up the words and scattered them around the underbrush, poison ivy would die.

Jeep – The things we make, MAKE US.

Pure genius. First prize for the world's worst tagline. Even beats the earlier moronic Jeep line: "I live. I ride. I am."

If you want to hurt someone, write to Jeep, find the people who thought up "The things we make, MAKE US." and pay them to scribble something on paper. Then pass the paper to your worst enemies and watch the sap drain from their bodies.

brandsinger

Is Summer a brand?

2010-07-13T05:06:00.000-07:00

Everything is considered a brand these days. Why not summer? It has the characteristics of a brand: Brand attributes – heat, long days, short pants, time off. It has a brand's personality – informal, gregarious, fun-loving, nostalgic. It has its own sounds (katydids in the afternoon), sights (fireflies at dusk) and smells (sea salt or cattle feed lots or steaming bags of trash, depending on where you live).

The only reason that summer would not be considered a brand is this: No one is actively measuring and managing its brand value... There are no brand consultants for summer... No publicists... No logo designers... Summer just happens, and no one is in charge of it... but you.

Happy summer.

brandsinger

What if Ghana fielded a baseball team?

2010-06-27T05:51:00.000-07:00

Yes, I was rooting for Ghana to beat the U.S.A.

Unpatriotic? No, but I'm a brand purist. Our sovereign brand smells of chewing tobacco and glove oil. When it comes to sports America excels at baseball and helmet-to-helmet style football. Other nations – especially the sorrow-torn peoples of the developing world – must have their soccer. They must play it and win. Soccer-style football means so much to them and so little to us.

What if Ghana fielded a baseball team – and beat the L.A. Dodgers? It would be like North Korea holding an international fashion show – and making French women look dowdy. No, Ghana will not beat us in baseball, and we shouldn't beat them in (whatever you call this game where you can't use your hands except for theatrical gestures).

Baseball – the U.S.A. – is unique... and uniquely influential worldwide – both respected and resented for our values and power. Our sports reflect and reinforce our culture. I hope the Ghanas of the world – proud, struggling nations with aspirations of their own – thrash the United States every time we presumptuously attempt to play their game.

brandsinger

Some businesses just have good names

2010-06-24T17:53:00.000-07:00

The Brandsinger team convened offsite this week in the charming town of Cheshire, Connecticut. You may know the town due to its international reputation as "The bedding plant capital of Connecticut" – which happens to be its slogan. Our team found savory sandwiches at the local deli and potent coffee at a little roasting shop where the special of the day was a robust coconut, Columbian, hazelnut, mango flavored bean with a hint of... now I may have mis-remembered. But the aroma of the place stimulated the synapses, leading to productive thinking by my brilliant, highly caffed and excitable colleagues Jessica Ohlin and Ernie Mills, of Ohlin Associates and Mills Global, respectively.

Oh yes, and after generating more hot air than a Southern politician at a lakeside bar-b-que, we retired to an unpretentious little ice cream parlor that boasted a world-class name, Sweet Claude's. Now I can't imagine a better job of branding for a business that sells a product that is both very sweet and very cool.

brandsinger

Mercury cars – Not for the swift

2010-06-13T07:20:00.000-07:00

Background: Ford announced the ending of its Mercury line.
Over the years, what once was an attractive mid-priced car conceived during the Depression (top) became a less and less relevant piece of bland metal marketed to people with a closet full of green slacks (below).

Writing about the demise of US car brands has become a thriving cottage industry. As Oldsmobiles and Pontiacs are tossed from product shelves like musty sweaters, commentators offer nostalgia ("I rode in one on my first date.") or scolding ("It's about time GM killed that brand.") or macro-economic platitudes ("The global auto industry has too much capacity.").

But let's face it, reading about branding is pretty dreary anyway. I like the people at Brandweek and have written for them from time to time. But geez, the weekly palaver about product strategy is less interesting than articles on back pain. Who doesn't respect David Aaker, that prolific examiner of every dimension of brand strategy? Yet who wouldn't rather wait for laundry to dry than wade through one of his treatises?

Okay, time for one beautiful article on the Mercury brand just laid to rest. If you want to understand the essence of branding – the central idea behind our precious jargon – start with this little essay from the New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/13/opinion/13dudley.html

This is – in our world of brand commentary – an absolute gem. It captures the essence of successful branding: Giving others an opportunity to express themselves.

brandsinger

Perp Walk – Just Another Brand Touchpoint

2010-06-09T19:09:00.000-07:00

You may have seen photos of accused killer Joran Van der Sloot escorted by Chilean cops. The first thing I noticed – as a mammal attuned to instincts of fight or flight – is how young and swaggery is the Dutch captive in the company of his pudgy, bureaucratic-looking captors. Now what image of Chilean authority does this project?

The Chilean cops are supposed to be strutting around so the world can admire their policing skills. Instead, they look like out-of-shape clerks who forgot their all-weather gear when joining their young boss on a camping trip.

Obviously Brandsinger was not the only one who took notice. Someone in Peru with a brand manager’s eye saw these pictures and thought, “Que passa! Those Chilean cops look like they moonlight as shoe salesmen.” The Peruvian guy wants his country to make a better impression on the world stage... so he makes a call.

A few hours later, when the Peruvians show up to take custody of Joran, it is clear that the prisoner is in the hands of two guys who are always up for a good clubbing.

Look at these cold-blooded crime-fighters. Now Joran appears to be the cowed captive he is. This picture says: You don’t want to screw around with Peruvian national power. Chilean brand managers take note.

Of course, no one orchestrates the intended impression of state power like the NYPD and the FBI. Here’s how we did it stateside when a hapless Somali pirate fell into our clutches.

If the invincible power of the state is what you want to project, this is good branding.

Brandsinger

New Coffee Logo – Seattle's Best

2010-05-20T12:40:00.000-07:00

At first, my reaction to this change of logos was: I don't care. The new logo is a mere sign, a label. Why bother with a critical opinion? Why get upset? I'm not a visual artist (It doth offend mine eyes!)... Oh, I know about brands and should have a well-thought-out reaction ("Must be aligned with the intended experience and reinforce the customer's perception of blah blah blah.") But it's just a picture. A drop of liquid in a circle. Why posture over such a trivial issue?

Or... How about this: I hate it. There. I might join the pack of angry critics and sound the alarm: How dare they replace an elegant old sign with these infantile scraps of geometric shapes?

Ah, but that's so predictable. We consultants are supposed to hate everything other people do. If we don't issue a John-Simon-type denunciation, how can we justify our fees? This looks like a universal symbol for an oil change! (he huffed)

I have a confession: Brandsinger does hate it. Well, hate is so strong. I find it doth offend mine... No, it sucks... No... What's wrong with it, you ask? Well little lady, this here new pitcher ain't fully symmetrical, looks lack a bottle cap with a key hole, and don't have nuthin to do with coffee or Seattle or best-ness.

I recommend: redraw the logo inspired by a sister of Juan Valdez. He is not from Seattle, true, and he may not have the best-looking burro. But he knows beans and wears a nifty hat. Those are my key criteria.

Brandsinger

First: "Consider the good of the Universal Church"

2010-04-10T10:28:00.000-07:00

For us marketers, the attitude of the Roman Catholic hierarchy reveals a bitter truth: Ignore customers at your peril.

Most marketers eagerly seek to understand what customers need. Yet the Catholic Church – in the case of child molesting priests – turned its back on customer needs and thought first of its own.

Cardinal Ratzinger (today Pope) once responded to a bishop’s plea to defrock a child molester with these revealing words: We have to take our time and “consider the good of the Universal Church.”

Here in a nutshell is the attitude of leaders who put their organizations' interests first – above the interests of the people they serve. The trait may show up as an impulse to “cover your ass” or “protect your turf” or “build it and they will come." Whatever the manifestation, whatever the words, the attitude leads down the path to isolation from customers and a decline in relevance.

The lesson is clear: If you first "consider the good" of your organization, you will next be wondering why the public doubts whether your organization is good.

brandsinger

Buckingham the PR Genius

2010-03-28T20:50:00.000-07:00

We think of public relations as a 20^th century profession, though we know that trying to lever the public will goes back centuries. The Declaration of Independence itself was written to rally public opinion to the controversial cause of American Revolution.

I see the birth of public relations in Elizabethan England as reflected in Shakespeare, starting with Marc Antony’s fiendishly manipulative speech to the Roman citizens after the gang-stabbing of Caesar. “I come to bury Caesar not to praise him” and all that posturing was Marc Antony’s calculating way to stir up public rage against the stabbers.

My favorite example of PR men in silk tights and woolen doublets is a little scene at the end of Act III in Richard III. Which Richard was the Third? You remember the guy who murdered ruthlessly to attain the English crown and lost his kingdom when he couldn’t find a horse? Well, I simplify somewhat, but the scene I care about is the one in which Richard (still only Duke of Gloucester) and his henchman Buckingham bamboozle the public with strategies straight from the book of Richard Edelman.

The scene begins with Buckingham returning from his attempt to fire up the citizens to name Richard king,

GLOUCESTER How now, my lord, what say the citizens?   

BUCKINGHAM Now, by the holy mother of our Lord,
The citizens are mum and speak not a word.   

Citizens mum! A PR man’s nightmare. So Gloucester asks if Buckingham made all the points they discussed, and Buckingham says, yes, I spoke of “your victories in Scotland, your discipline in war, wisdom in peace, your bounty, virtue, fair humility, indeed, left nothing fitting for the purpose untouched or slightly handled.”

BUCKINGHAM …And when mine oratory grew to an end, I bid them that did love their country's good cry 'God save Richard, England's royal king!'   

GLOUCESTER Ah! and did they so?   

BUCKINGHAM No, so God help me, they spake not a word;
But, like dumb statues or breathing stones,
Gazed each on other, and look'd deadly pale.

Okay, so round one goes to citizen apathy. But these noble PR geniuses have another trick up their puffy sleeves. Buckingham – turned Edelman-like strategist – advises Gloucester to show the world his devout and pious side. He arranges to have Gloucester be seen in a sort of spiritual retreat in plain sight.

BUCKINGHAM And look you get a prayer-book in your hand,
And stand betwixt two churchmen, good my lord;
For on that ground I'll build a holy descant.

And then, in a bit of shrewd stagecraft, Buckingham counsels Richard to play hard to get.

Be not easily won to our request:
Play the maid's part, still answer nay, and take it.

Does the strategy work?
You’ll have to read the scene yourself to savor the dark comedy of Elizabethan public relations. But rest assured that Buckingham and Richard’s play-acting would make any modern practitioner blush with pride.

Richard plays his part crudely but well, pretending to be at prayer and dismayed by Buckingham’s loud entreaties to take the crown. Richard even cries out, “Alas, why would you heap these cares on me?” – delicious hypocrisy from one who has murdered his way to be next in line.

Finally, in a wonderful bit of slapstick, Buckingham nearly gives up trying to persuade Richard and walks away! “And in this resolution here we leave you… Come, citizens: 'zounds! I'll entreat no more.”

Whereupon other lieutenants get nervous and call Buckingham back, and Richard, saying that he is “not made of stone,” accepts the crown.

What a display of public deception and mass manipulation. Not fair to call it public relations? Not true to modern, professional standards that would never brook such crude theatrics to help a client to the brass ring? As Richard (the III, not Edelman) might conclude: "Uh, ahem…Come, let us to our holy task again.”

brandsinger